


Kept

by bodylikeabattleaxe



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff, Hollstein - Freeform, LaFerry - Freeform, Zeta Society - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-02-26 22:57:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodylikeabattleaxe/pseuds/bodylikeabattleaxe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a zookeeper AU. Carmilla is a Big Cat keeper, while Laura works with the "cute and fuzzy" animals. Laura and Carmilla meet when one of Laura's animals is housed in the Big Cat building for the winter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Holding 7

“Sheridan, up,” Carmilla said. The elegant black panther jumped onto the bars of the holding cage, towering above her. In response, Carmilla clicked the small metal clicker in her hand.

“Good boy. Sheridan, tail.” The panther turned and backed up against the holding cage, carefully flicking his tail between the bars and sticking it out for Carmilla. 

Next to her stood a redhead in scrubs, holding a small syringe and a vial. “Thank you. I just need a few samples.”

“No problem, Dr. LaFontaine. Sheridan’s been getting better at blood draw training, so I guess this was good timing. What all are you testing for, again?”

Dr. LaFontaine inserted the needle, causing a slight hiss from the panther. “We got the necropsy results back from the cougar that died, and she had a virus. So we’re testing all the cats in the building. It’s highly unlikely that anyone else got it, but it’s better to be safe.”

Carmilla nodded, absentmindedly stroking Sheridan’s tail. He had always been her favorite in the Big Cat building. On her first day three years ago, she got to feed him, and he let out an appreciative kitten-purr for her. She was still the only one who could get him to stick his tail out – he knew it was for blood draws, and he didn’t like it very much. But he trusted Carmilla.

“Got it! Good job, big kitty,” Dr. LaFontaine chirped, inspecting the vials as they headed out the door. “I’ve got to go give a toucan a radiograph. I’ll let you know the results.”

“Thanks, doctor. Okay, Sheridan, all done!” Carmilla called out, clicking repeatedly and throwing the panther a few choice cuts of meat.

Carmilla made her way back down the stairs to the Big Cat kitchen. Most of her afternoon consisted of preparing diets for the evening, though she always cheated and did Sheridan’s first. Many of her coworkers hated this task as it involved a lot of raw meat and dead rats. But Carmilla enjoyed it – slicing rib meat from the bone, carving cubes from flanks of beef. She found her hands were near-perpetually bloodstained.

“Cat 3,” called a voice on the radio.

“Go ahead,” answered Carmilla. The numbers corresponded to seniority, except for curators who got their own name instead.

“Could you prep holding 7? We’re taking in something from C&F for a while because of the cold snap.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Do I need to do the entire cage or can the little fluffball fit in a corner?”

There was a pause, “Prep the entire cage, Cat 3.”

“10-4,” she responded, clipping the radio back to her belt.

C&F was the nickname for a building on the zoo grounds. It was named for two donors whose names started with C and F, but because it was home to the small mammals, C&F jokingly stood for ‘Cute and Fuzzy’. The zookeepers in the building were seen as less serious than the rest of the keepers, and were often joked about as if they just cared for pets.

Carmilla climbed the stairs and weaved down the concrete hallway, which housed the holding cages for the east side of the building. Most of the holding cages were connected to an outdoor exhibit. But Holding 7 was in a corner on its own, and was smaller than most of the others. It was originally built as a sort of nursery for when keepers would sometimes hand-raise some of the baby big cats, but fell out of use now that the cats were all parent-raised.

The thick black hose was heavy, and Carmilla wasn’t excited about dragging its length down to Holding 7. A few of the cats were inside right now and they followed her as she walked in front of the cages. The cheetah made a small yipping sound and the lioness growled softly. Carmilla sprinkled bleach over the concrete floor of the cage, then blasted it with the hose. Once it was just slightly damp, she spread shavings over the floor, then turned on the automatic water bowl.

When she walked into the kitchen, she spotted one of her coworkers was washing pans in the sink.

“So are we taking care of the C&F creature, or is one of the Bunny-Huggers coming over here to do it?” Carmilla asked with a groan of disinterest.

“This Bunny-Hugger will be taking care of her, thank you very much.”

Carmilla swung around to see a honey-brunette keeper standing in the doorway holding a crate. The girl was a bit short, and had a glare on her face that was attempting to be intimidating but elicited a slight giggle from Carmilla.

“Got it, Creampuff. Right this way.”

They walked up the stairs and as they entered the East Wing. As if on cue, the lioness let out a loud roar and the other keeper looked visibly startled.

“I guess you don’t deal with many things that loud down in C&F, huh?” quipped Carmilla.

“Well the bats get so loud that I wear earplugs…” she trailed off, staring wide-eyed at the lioness and backing away.

“You probably don’t want to back up too far, the cheetahs have impressive reach.”

The keeper squeaked like a frightened mouse and whipped around. She was eye to eye with the male cheetah, though Carmilla didn’t have the heart to tell her that he was old and blind as a bat. They walked down the hall to Holding 7.

After Carmilla opened the cage door, the keeper kneeled and placed the crate halfway inside, pulling back the towel that had been covering it. She opened it and out popped…

“Is that a _dog?_ ” asked Carmilla indignantly. She could have dealt with some prey animal roaming in the cage, but did not want some canine desecrating her cat house.

“Fennec fox, actually,” responded the keeper, petting the small animal on the head. It had a frame about the size of a small housecat and impossibly large ears. 

Carmilla scoffed at the keeper petting her animal like a pet. Zookeepers were supposed to have a respectable distance from their animals after all. “Whatever. So one of the C&F keepers will be coming to care for it, right?”

The keeper rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, yes. You won’t have to besmirch yourself by touching the little ‘cute and fuzzy’ animal. Just do a livecheck on her in the morning, then I’ll be coming in every afternoon to feed her. I’m Laura, by the way.”

Carmilla extended her hand. To her delight, it was still a bit bloody from earlier. She expected this Laura girl to shrink away, but with only a slight grimace, Laura shook it. Laura’s hand was soft and small, and seemed to disappear between Carmilla’s long fingers.

“Carmilla. I’m in charge of the diets and take care of the _Pantheras,_ ” she replied, not realizing just how biting her response was. 

“Look, I know you guys look down on us or whatever, but can we play nice for the sake of Betty the Fox here? She didn’t ask to be put in the big scary cat building. I can’t believe you call us ‘Bunny Huggers’ anyways. We might as well call you Kitty… Lickers or something!” 

As soon as Laura exclaimed this, Carmilla broke into a huge smirk. She raised her eyebrows at the girl and Laura looked back confused, until it dawned on her.

“Oh my god, I did not just say that,” Laura covered her face with her hands.

“That you did, Cupcake.”

They both laughed for a minute, then Carmilla caught Laura gazing at her. Laura quickly looked away.

“Anyways, I’ve got to get back to C&F. I’ll be swinging by tomorrow afternoon to check on Betty. I’ll uh, see you then!”

With that, Laura ran down the hallway, and Carmilla saw a blur of the shorter girl disappear out the door. She caught herself smiling as she looked between the door and the small fox in the cage next to her. She then quickly shook her head and picked up the hose to start her afternoon cleaning.


	2. First Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla gets a little injury, and it's time for a quick trip to the First Aid Cabin... where we meet Lola Perry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad y'all like this AU - I was worried since it wasn't a 'normal' trope. Fun fact: Bunny-Hugger is real zoo slang. It refers to a keeper who is overly attached to their animals and treats them like pets.

Laura wasn't exactly excited about going over to the Big Cat building every day. It was nearly on the other side of the zoo. That morning she prepared the diet for Betty after doing her rounds. She'd checked in on some of her favorites, like the dwarf mongoose, the Pygmy sloth, and the sugar gliders. The sugar gliders were expecting a baby soon, and Laura would get to help hand-raise it.  
  
After lunch, Laura grabbed the square metal pan that held Betty's diet and started her trek to the Big Cat building. The keeper she'd met yesterday seemed pretty disdainful of the whole situation. Laura knew that C&F didn't always have the best reputation, but it frustrated her that she wasn't taken seriously. She promised herself that she would be stone-faced when she was around the big cats that day.  
  
She opened the door to the kitchen, but found it empty. Technically she was supposed to have an escort when she went through the Big Cat building. But she was a big girl, she could do this.  
  
Laura walked up the stairs and opened the door to the East Wing. When she rounded the corner, her breath caught in her throat.  
  
Laying on the floor beneath a wall-mounted air conditioning unit was Carmilla. She had stripped off her red uniform polo and had on just a thin white undershirt. Laura could see the girl’s black, lacy bra and found her stomach was fluttering.  
  
"Uh...hi," she choked out, her eyes darting anywhere but Carmilla's chest.  
  
"Oh hey, Bun- ...Laura. Sorry, the heater in here seems to think we should be on the surface of the sun, I've been trying to turn it off."  
  
Carmilla stood up and wiped her hands on a dirty towel. They were covered in black streaks from the machinery, and had the same red tint from blood that they'd had the day before. Her hair was in a loose ponytail, with a few dark strands falling in front of her face.  
  
"It's um, totally fine! Just wanted to give you a heads up that I was here. Do you have a hose I can use? I'm going to clean..." Laura paused and saw that in fact, Betty's exhibit was spotless. The shavings had been changed and her litter box was cleaned out. "Oh, you guys didn't have to do that!"  
  
Carmilla shrugged, pushing the loose strands of hair behind her ear. "It's no problem, I was cleaning this side anyways."  
  
"Thank you," Laura smiled and opened the cage door, walking in. She sat the food dish next to the automatic water bowl. Betty ran over and Laura gave her an affectionate head rub.  
  
"Fuck!" called out Carmilla, back underneath the heater. She slid out and was holding her hand tightly.  
  
Laura rushed over. "Are you okay? What happened?"  
  
"There was this loose piece of metal that was sticking out and," Carmilla paused, separating her right hand from her left. The back of her left hand had a large cut across it.  
  
"Oh my god! Come on, let's go see Perry." Laura was already walking down the hall before she noticed that Carmilla wasn't following her.  
  
"I'm fine," Carmilla hissed.  
  
Laura walked back over to her. Carmilla looked shaken up, but was trying to cover it. The fingertips of her injured hand were already looking a bit white because her grip was so firm. Laura put her hand gently on Carmilla's shoulder. "Even if you say you're fine, you really shouldn't bleed on the animals."  
  
Carmilla rolled her eyes and reluctantly followed Laura out the door as they headed up to the First Aid Cabin.  
  
Lola Perry, often just called Perry, was the unofficial Nurse and Mother for the zoo. The first aid office was in an old cabin on grounds that was originally going to be used for programs. It looked like a real house inside - complete with a plush living room and a functioning kitchen. Perry made lemonade in the summer, hot chocolate in the winter, and baked goods all year round. Laura loved to drop by and get a sugary snack during tough days. Or any day, really.  
  
They both walked into the office and Perry spun around in her swivel chair, her bouncy red curls swinging. "Oh my goodness! What do we have here?"  
  
"Cut my hand," muttered Carmilla.  
  
Laura pushed her gently in Perry's direction and they sat down on the couch. Perry reached for some of her supplies and inspected Carmilla's hand.  
  
"Well, you don't need stitches or anything, so that's good! I'm going to wash this off then we can bandage it up," Perry chipped and began working on Carmilla's hand.  
  
Laura absentmindedly put her hand on Carmilla's back, rubbing slow circles. She expected the grumpy girl to swat her away, but she leaned into the touch.  
  
Perry swabbed Carmilla's hand with alcohol and Carmilla hissed in pain.  
  
"It's okay," Laura said softly. Carmilla bristled slightly and Laura removed her hand, standing up. "Do you have any..."  
  
"Cookies are in the kitchen, dear," Perry responded automatically.  
  
Laura picked up a few rainbow cookies and walked back into the office. She handed one to Carmilla. Carmilla reluctantly took it.  
  
"All done!" Perry said, lifting up Carmilla's hand. There was a gauze pad against the cut and it was wrapped with a layer of gauze, covered with medical tape. "Don't fiddle with the tape or anything. It's waterproof, and if it gets pulled back you'll have a wet bandage. Be careful."  
  
"I will," grumbled Carmilla, then disappeared out the door.  
  
Laura shrugged at Perry. "I don't know what's up with her."  
  
Perry shook her head, removing the bright purple latex gloves from her hand. "She got hurt a couple years ago and acted like that, too. Got sliced by some big cat claw during a medical procedure, it was right across her chest."

“Poor thing,” Laura responded, clucking her tongue. Her mind was racing to thoughts of a shirtless Carmilla, a small scar across her naked chest, and she swatted the image away. “Anyways, I’ve got to get back. Can I have-”

 “Have as many cookies as you like, dear.”


	3. The Fox Comes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla volunteers to take Betty the fox home for a night after she gets sick, and Laura wants to come visit.

It had been nearly two weeks since the fuzzball fox had come to stay at the Big Cat building. Carmilla had taken to cleaning its cage, and may or may not have petted it…once.

She liked doing something nice for the C&F keeper. Every time that girl Laura came to the building, she still expected the cage to be dirty, and was happily surprised when it was clean. Carmilla couldn’t help but like the little smile on her face.

They’d started to talk more. Just a few exchanges while Laura fed the fox and checked in on her. Carmilla found out that Laura had been there for about two years, that she used to work with barn animals, and that she really had a thing for baked goods. It seemed almost every time Laura came in, she had one of Perry’s creations tucked in her pocket. Carmilla wasn’t as forthcoming with details, though Laura did try to pry past her tough exterior. She kind of liked that.

“You are not allowed to get a crush on a Bunny-Hugger,” Carmilla muttered to herself as she began cleaning the fox’s cage.

She noticed that there were a lot of brownish-red spots in the shavings and the litter box. While twirling the ends of her hair, she pulled out her radio and called Dr. LaFontaine.

“Sounds like a UTI, I’ll come down and check on her. Let me call over to C&F. I’ll be there in about an hour,” LaFontaine responded.

Carmilla tried to go through the rest of her routine normally, but found she was rather worried about the little fox. She also hadn’t seen Laura yet and wasn’t looking forward to breaking the news.

Finally LaFontaine showed up, holding a medical kit and a metal pan. “Hey Carmilla. The C&F people asked me to bring the diet over, it’s the off day for the keeper who usually cared for her so I just picked it up.”

Carmilla helped LaFontaine hold the fennec fox as they examined it. She could feel it’s little heart thumping against her fingertips, growing faster as they had to twist and turn its body.

“Yep, looks like it’s a UTI. I figured, I went ahead and brought the medication down for it. The only drawback is that it has to be administered every four hours. I’ll check with the night keeper, or see if one of the C&F people want to take her home,” LaFontaine said, packing up their medical bag.

“I’ll take her home.” Carmilla was surprised at the speed this came out of her mouth. Did she just volunteer to take some C&F puppy home with her?

“Oh. I didn’t think you’d want to,” LaFontaine paused, looking between Carmilla and the fox. “But okay! I’ll get you the form, it’s just a little signature so we know who has her. And I’ll see about a crate.”

In just two hours, the fox was packed up in a comfy crate and Carmilla had a ziploc bag full of the medical supplies for it. She still couldn’t fully believe she’d volunteered for this. When she got home, she carried the fox gingerly into her living room and set it down close to the heating vent. Her phone began to ring.

“Hello?” she asked hesitantly. She didn’t recognize the number.

“Hi, is this Carmilla?” answered a sweet voice – it was Laura.

“Yeah, hey Laura. How’d you get my number?”

“Trust me, it was an ordeal involving two different keepers and a photocopied emergency contacts list. Anyways, I heard you took Betty home for the night?”

“I did, she’s next to me right now,” Carmilla looked at the crate and sat down on the couch. She felt like she was buzzing slightly, just hearing Laura’s voice.

“I was wondering, and it’s totally cool if you’re not comfortable with this, but I’m just really worried about her, even though I know she’s in totally capable hands, but um,”

Carmilla laughed. “What is it, buttercup?”

“Can I come check on her?”

“Um, yeah. Of course you can,” Carmilla’s voice faltered as she scanned her complete mess of an apartment. “I’ll text you my address.”

“Thank you so, so much,” Laura responded cheerfully. “I’ll see you soon!”

Carmilla realized she was in for quite the speed-cleaning session. She ran around the living room and kitchen, piling odd messes into some semblance of organization, running hot water over dirty dishes. She spent so much of her time at work cleaning that she often neglected it at home. Her apartment was a modest size, so she didn’t have much to clean anyways – one bathroom, her living room, kitchen, and bedroom. She shoved clothes into her closet while changing into jeans and a black moon phase t-shirt.

After making the bed, which she wondered why she did anyways, she lit a few scented candles just as she heard a knock on the door. She practically ran to answer it.

“Hi! Come in,” she said as she opened her front door, looking Laura up and down.

Laura looked so different when she wasn’t in uniform. She was wearing a plaid button down and high-waisted jeans with snow boots, as well as a heavy black jacket thrown over her arm. Her hair was down, and seemed like a darker brown when it wasn’t under the zoo’s harsh fluorescent lights.

“Hey there. Thank you again for letting me come see her – how is she?” Laura spotted the crate and rushed over.

Oh right. The fox.

“She’s doing pretty great, it seems. Been pretty quiet,” Carmilla said over her shoulder, leading Laura into the living room. “I was gonna start a fire if that’s cool. It’s gotten kind of chilly in here.”

“Of course! It’s awesome that your apartment has a fireplace, wow.” Laura bent down and opened the crate slightly. “Hi sweetheart! Aw I know somebody isn’t feeling too well, but don’t worry, Carmilla and I are going to take good care of you.”

Carmilla’s heart felt like a spark floating from a log. She shook her head at herself, and got the fire started. The wood-burning fireplace was what won her over when it came to her apartment. She loved the way it lit up the room, and some nights she had fallen asleep just watching the flames.

“Would you um, like some tea or anything?” Carmilla nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “I’ve got chamomile, mint, earl grey…”

Laura got up from the floor and took a seat on the couch. “Sure! Mint would be great. Hey would you mind if I took Betty out?”

Carmilla walked to the kitchen – it was an open kitchen with a bar, so she could still talk to Laura. “Yeah that’d be fine. I didn’t realize you could handle her so easily. I was worried a bit about giving her the medication, it’s this liquid I have to squeeze in her mouth.”

“Oh, I could help with that. We give her the same kind of medicine for her annual deworming.”

“Awesome,” Carmilla smiled, setting her kettle on the range and pulling out mugs.

As the tea brewed she walked over to the couch and sat down next to Laura. The fox sat in her lap, looking content as Laura pet down its back.

“You can pet her if you want. She’s really used to people, but we’re still not technically supposed to do this. It’s kind of cool to be able to,” Laura said with a mischievous grin.

“You’re such a rebel,” joked Carmilla, reaching out to pet the fox. Its fur was luxuriously soft and her fingers seemed to disappear beneath a layer of it.

Laura raised her eyebrows and responded, “I have my moments.”

Their eyes lingered on each other as they both stroked the fox, and their hands met. Carmilla’s thumb rubbed Laura’s for just a moment.

The kettle whistled. Carmilla rushed to the kitchen and said without looking back, “Oh, let me get that.”

For nearly three hours, both girls relaxed in Carmilla’s living room, sipping tea, talking, and playing with the fox. Carmilla used an old suitcase between her couch and kitchen bar to block off the living room and they could let the fox run around. They told stories – mostly about zoo animals, but a few about college, friends, and other adventures. Laura let slip that one of her exes was a girl, and Carmilla told a story about a girl she dated, and Laura gave her a knowing smile.

“Hey, looks like it’s nine o’clock. Time to give the little fox its medicine,” Carmilla said, petting the fox between its ears. “Want to give me a hand?”

“Sure. You hold her, and I’ll give her the medication. Let me get it all set up.”

Laura went through the packet and expertly got the two medications into their oral syringes. Carmilla held the fox with a firm grip, though she was worried about crushing the little thing. Laura grabbed the fox’s head, and within a few seconds she had gotten both medicines down the fox’s throat.

“Damn! I was expecting more of a struggle,” Carmilla laughed, letting the fox run from her grasp. Laura put the fox into her crate.

“The trick, my dear,” Laura said, dropping everything back into its plastic bag. “Is to make sure she doesn’t have time to react.”

“I see,” Carmilla smirked. “I’ll have to remember that when I give it to her tonight.”

Laura bit her lip, her eyes darting from the fireplace to the owl clock on the wall. “Okay, so I already feel like I’ve put you out by coming over and taking up your time, but I’m kind of exhausted, and it’s snowing like mad outside. Could I maybe crash here? I’ll get up with you to give her the medicine and everything.”

“Definitely, that’s no problem. Here, you can take my bed and I’ll take the couch. Follow me.”

Carmilla led Laura into her room, and she noticed Laura’s eyes darting around to take it all in. Carmilla’s bed was in the center of the room, its headboard against the window. Her walls were fairly plain, with just a few framed posters of some modern art pieces and photography. The floor had been kicked clean but a few odd pieces of clothing stuck out from under the dresser and the edge of the closet.

“Alright, I’m certainly not letting you sleep on the couch when you’ve got such a big bed, we can both fit on this!” Laura exclaimed, half-leaping onto the bed. It was king size, with a gray stone-washed duvet and about ten pillows.

Carmilla’s heart was racing. Here was the cute C&F keeper in her bed. They’d be sharing her bed. This couldn’t be happening.

“Well I guess that makes sense,” Carmilla said, smiling and turning towards her dresser. “Do you need anything to sleep in? I have like a hundred pajama pants and big – oh…” 

When she turned back around, Laura had stripped to a black tank top and green boy shorts underwear. “I’m good. Is it cool if I take this side?” 

Carmilla looked at the ceiling for a second. “Yeah, either side is good with me.” 

Should she match Laura’s bold move? She stood in front of her dresser and pulled out an old pink tank top, slipping it on in the half second it took her to slip off her shirt and bra. She then slid off her jeans, revealing her tight black panties. Turning off the light, she crossed the room and slid into bed next to Laura, though their bodies were still two feet apart.

“I’ve got the alarm all set, we have four hours to sleep before it’s medicine time,” Carmilla said with a yawn. 

“Sounds good to me,” Laura said without opening her eyes. She was already so settled into bed – arms wrapped around a large pillow, comforter pulled up to her chest – it looked like she belonged there.

Carmilla laid down, facing Laura’s direction. Laura shifted so that one arm was wrapped around her pillow, but the other extended forward. Carmilla slid out her arm until their hands were lightly touching. She took a deep breath, and threaded her fingers through Laura’s. Laura squeezed her hand lightly in return and smiled. Carmilla sighed, pulling her body just close enough to let her leg rest against Laura’s.

It wasn’t exactly cuddling, but it was close. Carmilla let herself drift off for a few precious hours of sleep, feeling more peaceful than she had in a long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still blown away that so many people like this AU! Just a note - keepers really do take some animals home sometimes, mostly for minor medications or observations. If it's more serious then they'll be looked after by the health center / vets.


	4. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, but super fluffy!

Laura woke with a start to see Carmilla thrashing around on the bed, whimpering. She sat up and moved to Carmilla’s side of the bed, trying to catch her flailing arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. Carmilla! You’re dreaming. Wake up!” she called out, shaking Carmilla’s shoulders.

The girl’s dark eyes flew open and met Laura’s. Laura watched as her face flushed and she looked away.

 “Shit. I’m sorry. That hasn’t happened in a while. Just, uh, just go back to sleep,” Carmilla muttered, jaw clenched, running her fingers through her hair. Her voice was so small and unsure.

 “You don’t have to apologize, we all have nightmares sometimes,” Laura ran her hand up and down Carmilla’s arm. “Are you okay?”

There was silence. Carmilla turned away but Laura could hear the soft sounds of crying.

With one smooth movement, Laura pulled Carmilla into a hug and set the taller girl’s head against her shoulder. Carmilla stiffened at the touch, but her arms then wound around Laura, until she was gripping her tightly, hands bunching into Laura’s tank top.

Her cries got louder and Laura held her hand in Carmilla’s hair, whispering softly, “It’s alright, I’m right here. You’re safe.”

After a few minutes, Carmilla pulled back and took a deep breath. She half-sighed, half-laughed, and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I feel like I freaked you out or something.”

Laura rubbed against Carmilla’s shoulder with a soft smile. “You didn’t freak me out at all, it’s totally fine. Did you wanna talk, or just go back to sleep?”

Carmilla bit her lip and looked down at her hand, which was gripping the comforter. “Honestly, I probably just need to get some more sleep. Not that you aren’t a great talking partner, but there’s probably a better time than 2:30 in the morning when we’re both exhausted.”

“Completely understandable. I’ll get you some water.”

Laura walked to Carmilla’s kitchen, checking up on Betty along the way. They’d given her one of her medicine doses two hours ago, and she seemed to be doing a lot better already. Laura quickly changed out the puppy pad in her crate and rubbed a sleepy Betty between her ears. Fennec foxes are nocturnal, so she should be awake right now, but being cooped up in a crate had seemingly knocked her out – possibly just out of boredom. After opening a few cabinets with no luck, and seeing that Carmilla had an impressive cereal collection, she found the glasses and returned to Carmilla’s room.

“Thanks,” Carmilla responded, taking the cool glass and downing it in a few gulps. She leaned back on the bed and turned away from Laura.

Laura was leaned up on her elbow, looking at Carmilla’s turned back. God, here she was in the girl’s bed, and everything smelled like woodsmoke, and this gorgeous person was curled up next to her illuminated by moonlight after crying on her shoulder. In her mind, all she could think of was kissing her. But it was late, and the night was heavy, and maybe she could only go so far.

So Laura lay down fully, then pushed her body across the bed until she was only inches from Carmilla’s. After convincing herself it was an innocent gesture and hey the girl did hold her hand earlier, Laura reached out and draped her arm across Carmilla’s waist. Comfortable, but not too close.

What happened next surprised her. Carmilla moved back until her whole body was touching Laura. She then reached above the blankets and grabbed Laura’s hand, pulling it under the comforters until it was level with her chest and interlacing their fingers.

Laura planted a smiling kiss on Carmilla’s shoulder, and drifted off to a comfortable sleep.

When the alarm on her phone went off, it felt like she was pulled upward from being underwater. Groggy and grumpy, she and Carmilla made their way to the living room. Carmilla picked Betty up and held her as Laura gave the medicine as quickly as she could in her half-delirious state. Before putting her back in her crate, Carmilla smiled at Betty and kissed her nose. Laura felt her whole body flutter and sparkle at seeing the exchange.

As they climbed back into bed, Laura was suddenly worried that their cuddling was a one-time thing. It was just because of the nightmares. She rolled over and faced the wall, scared to turn towards Carmilla. But then she felt a knee bump into hers and an arm snake around her hips and Carmilla’s face nuzzling her hair.

“G’night cupcake,” she mumbled sleepily. “I’m glad you came over.”

Laura gently pushed her body further against Carmilla’s and ran her hand lightly over her arm. “I’m glad I did, too.”


	5. Little Touches

When Carmilla woke up for work, she realized she was alone in bed. She scanned her room and checked the bathroom quickly, then walked out and looked in the rest of the apartment. But Laura was gone.  
  
She climbed into the scalding shower, muttering to herself, "Smooth, sundance. You managed to chase off another one. And you didn't even get to the tragic backstory this time."  
  
After her shower, Carmilla threw on her short leopard-print robe and walked out towards the kitchen. She froze in her doorway.  
  
Laura was sitting on the floor in the living room, playing with the fox. There on the kitchen counter were two cups from the coffee place down the street.  
  
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Laura said in a high-pitched voice as she waved the fox's paw at Carmilla.  
  
Carmilla didn't even try to smirk, as her real smile stretched across her face faster than she could stop it. "Good morning. I thought...I thought you'd left."  
  
Laura placed the fox back in her crate and walked over to Carmilla, handing her a cup from the counter. "I couldn't get back to sleep after about 5:30. I was going to try and make some coffee but I have no idea how to work your french press, so I went and got these. I hope they're decent compared to your fancy coffee."  
  
Carmilla laughed and crossed the kitchen, pulling some cream out of the fridge. "They're more than decent. I love that coffeeshop. I'm sorry you couldn't sleep though."  
  
"Oh it's fine! 5:30 is when I normally wake up anyways. I like to take my time in the mornings, and I can get a lot done first thing," Laura grinned, sipping her coffee. She did seem rather chipper. "Today's my off day though, so I might take a nap when I get home."  
  
"Sounds like a good plan," Carmilla paused, standing in front of Laura who was sitting on the counter again. She had absentmindedly put her hand on Laura's knee as they talked. Her robe felt more revealing than usual at the moment. "I'm uh, gonna go get dressed."  
  
Carmilla threw on her uniform at lightning speed and put her hair up in a towel. She went to the kitchen and got her lunch together as Laura talked to her. Laura told Carmilla about her plans for the day - which mostly involved sleeping and cleaning - as well as her excitement over the promise of a baby sugar glider. She revealed that normally this day was the equivalent of her Monday, but her off days got pushed forward by one to cover for another keeper. Carmilla realized they both had one day off that matched up - this was rare, as most keepers worked weekends and had odd days off during the week.  
  
Carmilla was still surprised at just how much Laura could talk in the morning, because she didn't start forming full sentences until she and Laura were about to walk out the door.  
  
"Do you need help getting her into your car?" asked Laura, poking her fingers through Betty's crate.  
  
"Nah, she's not too heavy," Carmilla pulled her coat tighter as the cold wind began to nip at her.  
  
"Have a good day," Laura said, then pulled Carmilla into a tight hug. Carmilla wrapped one arm around her, the other still holding the fox's crate, and nuzzled gently into Laura's hair.  
  
"You too."  
  
Carmilla felt like she was on a happy cloud all the way to work. She went about her day pretty normally. She was on West routine and got to train with Sheridan. He was getting so much better at his commands. In the afternoon another C&F keeper came to feed the fox.  
  
"Hey little kitty," said a deep voice that Carmilla assumed was referring to the lioness. "Where's the little fox?"  
  
Carmilla spun around with a furrowed brow. "My name is Carmilla, not kitty, and the Fennec Fox is right there."  
  
The burly C&F keeper walked over to the holding cage. "I'm sorry, uh, Carmilla. I'm Kirsch."  
  
"Pleasure, "she responded, not looking up.  
  
"By the way, the Doc says this little buddy needs to be taken overnight again for observation. I'll be here to pick her up in a couple hours."  
  
"I've got this one," Carmilla responded, stepping forward to lock the cage after Kirsch exited.  
  
"Are you sure kit- Carmilla? Staying up doing observations always does a number on me." Kirsch looked her up and down as if he could see her exhaustion written on her skin.  
  
"I'm fine. I will be taking the fox home, got it?"  
  
Kirsch lifted his hands. "Yeah, of course. Just let the doc know. Sorry."  
  
Kirsch ran out the door like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Carmilla didn't mean to be such a bitch to him. But in her head, she'd imagined that perhaps Laura would want to come over again to check on the fox. Perhaps she’d apologize to him later.

Carmilla had Laura’s number now and decided to text her that afternoon.

C: _Hey Laura, it’s Carmilla. I’m taking Betty home tonight and was wondering if you wanted to come by again to help me out with her?_

L: _Hi! I would love to :) Is 7 alright?_

C: _Sounds great. See you tonight!_

When Carmilla got home with the fox, she tried making her apartment a bit more presentable. She organized her room a bit better, actually cleaned her kitchen, and tidied up the living room. She stacked a few movies in front of the television next to her fireplace.

Laura showed up almost exactly at 7PM. She breezed in, a leather backpack over her shoulder, babbling already. Carmilla smiled at her and led her into the living room.

That night, Carmilla felt like she’d fallen asleep and woken up in a domestic daydream. They let the fox out of her crate so she could run around the living room. Carmilla put in _Casablanca_ on the television and Laura curled up next to her on the couch. They drank hot chocolate, which Carmilla may have specially bought on the way home.

Halfway through the movie, all Carmilla could focus on was Laura’s body, so close but not touching. With a deep breath, Carmilla lifted her arm and slid it around Laura’s shoulders. She caught a smile creep over Laura’s face, and the smaller girl leaned closer, putting her hand on Carmilla’s thigh.

The affection felt so genuine, casual, even though Carmilla could feel her heart pounding like a hammer. Every time Carmilla had to get off the couch – putting in a new black-and-white movie, refilling hot chocolate – she was worried Laura wouldn’t cuddle up again, but when she sat down Laura would hold her hand or run her fingers through Carmilla’s hair.

When they finally went to sleep, Carmilla slid immediately to Laura’s side of the bed and pulled her close. Laura grabbed Carmilla’s hand and kissed it gently. Their bodies entwined, and Carmilla slept more peacefully than she could ever remember.


	6. The Drill

It had been a few days since their date, and Laura was still not sure of how to act around Carmilla.  
  
Though was it even a date? Sure, they watched movies and held hands all night, but Carmilla really only invited her over to help with Betty, right?  
  
Laura massaged her temple. She didn't expect that a Big Cat keeper would look in the direction of someone from C&F, much less that it would be the hottest one who never talked to anyone.  
  
The fruit bats screeched loudly and brought her back to the current moment. She was on the left side of the C&F building, prepping Betty's diet. There were fruit bats on one side of her and the dwarf mongoose paced next to the diet table. The cotton-top tamarins were bouncing around their holding cage, ready for food. Laura handed them a few apple slices on her way out.  
  
When Laura got to Betty's holding cage, that side of the building was empty. After feeding and checking in on Betty, Laura decided to venture to the other wing to look for Carmilla.  
  
"Sheridan, paw," Laura heard as she opened the door. Carmilla was standing in front of a huge black panther, who had its paw obediently spread between the bars. Carmilla tickled his bean-shaped paw pad gently.  
  
"Wow, he's so sweet!" Laura said, watching how gentle she was with the powerful animal. Carmilla made a sound something like a shriek and swiveled around. "Oh sorry, didn't mean to scare you."  
  
Carmilla clucked her tongue. "Probably shouldn't sneak up on people in buildings full of deadly predators, cupcake."  
  
"I'll make sure to announce my presence next time," Laura smiled and walked closer. "So this is your baby, huh?"  
  
Carmilla blushed, telling Sheridan to raise his other paw. "I mean I wouldn't call him my baby exactly. But he's my favorite, yes. I've done a lot of work training him. Do you uh, wanna pet him?"  
  
"Yeah! Is that dangerous though?" Laura scanned the huge animal, thinking of his razor-sharp teeth and claws.  
  
"Nah, not when you pet him like this: Sheridan, tail!" Carmilla called out. The panther backed up and stuck his tail through the bars. Laura reached out and petted it gingerly. "I guess he is pretty sweet."  
  
"And so soft!" Laura nuzzled her face against the tail, then thought a bit further about what she was doing and whipped her head up. "Uh sorry."  
  
"It's okay. That was really cute."  
  
Carmilla's voice was softer than usual, without its normal harsh tone that she had when she was at work. They were both standing on either sides of the panther's tail, hands growing closer, and their eyes were locked.  
  
"Attention all radios!" barked out both Carmilla and Laura's radios loudly, causing them to jump. "We have a code red animal escape. This is a Section 1 animal, so rifle and tranquilizer teams please prepare. All staff must report to the most internal room in the nearest building."  
  
"Oh right, the animal escape drill," Laura commented, turning her radio down a notch.  
  
"How did you know we were having a drill?" Carmilla clicked the clicker rapidly for Sheridan and tossed him the rest of the meat.  
  
"It was in the morning announcements a few days ago," Laura replied. Carmilla rolled her eyes. "What, you don't listen to the announcements?"  
  
"I mean, I don't need to know the manager of the day because I never go off grounds or close up the building, I know the weather from going outside, and listening to Lola Perry's terrible puns," Carmilla paused and Laura shot her a glare. "Uh, are the only reason I would tune in."  
  
"Thank you," Laura said, crossing her arms. "Is there another room we should go to? Not that the cats wouldn't protect us."  
  
"Wait, did they say it was a section 1?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Carmilla sighed. "Come on, we've gotta get in the damn medical room."  
  
Carmilla led Laura to a door next to the hoses on the far side of the hallway. She flicked on the buzzing fluorescent lights. The room was about ten feet long, and both sides were lined with drawers and a few cabinets. It seemed oddly tidy for being so dusty.  
  
"What is this again?" asked Laura, opening a few cabinets inquisitively:  
  
"This is the medical supply room - when we have medications for the cats we keep them in the mini fridge over there. We've also got a few things like calcium blocks, blood stop powder, stuff like that. We're supposed to keep their worm medicine in here too. But honestly we never really use the room, most of the medicines stay in the kitchen so they're easier to keep track of," Carmilla shrugged, brushing off some dust and hopping up to sit on the counter.  
  
Laura hesitated for a second, looking at the space next to Carmilla. What the hell. She lifted her small frame and sat down next to the taller girl, their hands close to touching.  
  
"I can't believe you have a room you don't even use. The C&F building is so small, we barely have enough space to keep our supplies in order. This place is a labyrinth."  
  
"Well, when your animals each weigh 500 pounds, you need a lot of space," Carmilla smirked. "But yeah, they built this place in the 60's and wanted it to be this huge cat mansion. There's a rumor that one of the rooms used to be where the curators hung out and smoked cigars."  
  
Laura laughed. "Oh, those were the days."  
  
Carmilla raised an eyebrow, meeting Laura's eyes. "I didn't peg you as a cigar girl."  
  
"Well, Carmilla," Laura's voice lowered, and she placed her hand over Carmilla's as she leaned closer. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me."  
  
Laura was surprised she was being so bold, but something about being locked in this tight space, in wanting to know if Carmilla was into her, it made her feel more bold.  
  
Carmilla gave her a slow smirk, then flipped her hand to thread her fingers with Laura's. She reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Laura's ear. "I can't wait to find out."  
  
Carmilla's radio screeched on loudly. "Cat 3, are you in a secure location?"

She fumbled for it and pressed the button to talk. "All secure, sir. I'm in the medical room."

"Got it. Stay there until you get the all clear. Don't forget to lock the door."

"10-4."  
  
Carmilla headed over to the door and locked the doorknob, then twisted a large knob. "First of all, I feel like the only reason to lock this is if the imaginary escaped animal is a monkey. Second, I have no idea why this door has a secret deadbolt that only opens from inside. Maybe THIS was the secret cigar room."  
  
Laura smiled, trying to keep her breath steady, but feeling a pounding in her chest. Carmilla walked towards her. With Laura sitting on the low counter, they were nearly the same height, with Laura being a bit taller. Carmilla paused, then stood in front of her, with her hands on Laura's thighs. Laura stroked them gently.  
  
"God, you're cute," Carmilla said with a breathy voice.  
  
Laura blushed and looked away, then turned back. Barely able to speak as she stared at Carmilla's lips, she said distantly, "You're... so gorgeous."  
  
"I'm sorry I called you a bunny hugger," Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand. She smirked.  
  
Laura realized Carmilla was enjoying this. Being so close to her, yet holding back in her distance. Teasing her. Laura's heart was racing, and she leaned forward until they were inches apart. "You're completely forgiven."  
  
"Good."  
  
With that, Carmilla threaded her hands through Laura's hair, pulled her in, and kissed her. Laura put her hands on Carmilla's side, pulling her as close as she could as her tongue traced Carmilla's bottom lip. Her whole body was buzzing, fluttering, God she couldn't even think, her whole mind flooded with how good Carmilla felt on her lips. She tasted slightly sweet, smelled so damn good. Her hands found their way to Carmilla's hair and she held onto it at the nape of her neck. Carmilla's hand was on her hip and found a small spot where her shirt had ridden up, stroking a spot of bare skin. Laura moaned softly.  
  
"All clear," called out Carmilla's radio.  
  
They separated quickly, both scanning each other's eyes.  
  
"I uh, guess we have to get back," Laura said, slightly out of breath as she slid off and stood up again.  
  
"Not just yet," Carmilla responded, pushing Laura against the counter and giving her another fervent kiss.  
  
Laura felt lightheaded as she wrapped her arms around Carmilla, who deepened the kiss and slid her tongue into Laura's mouth, which Laura returned in a heartbeat. Finally, they pulled back and pecked their lips together once more.  
  
"Wow," Laura breathed, smiling up a storm. This was so not her style - making out in a glorified broom closet during work. But Carmilla made her want to be a bit rebellious. Just before they exited the room, Laura leaned up and gave Carmilla one more slow kiss, barely moving her lips against the other girl's. Laura could see a blush forming on Carmilla's cheeks.

When they walked out to, Carmilla said goodbye to Sheridan and they headed back over to the East Wing. They still needed to give Betty medicine, though much less often now. Carmilla picked her up as always while Laura gave the medication. 

Before she left the building, Laura checked the hallway, then grabbed the collar of Carmilla's polo and pulled her in for another quick kiss. Now that they'd broken their ice, Laura just wanted Carmilla's lips on hers as often as possible. Carmilla smiled into the kiss and hugged Laura tightly.

"So," Laura began as she smoothed her clothes, trying to let the flushing of her cheeks fade before she made her way downstairs. "I thought maybe we could hang out soon. You know, without waking up with a Fennec Fox every four hours. You could come to my place this time?"

Carmilla grinned shyly, looking down at her feet. "Yeah, for sure. I would like that very much."

"Great. I'll text you."

Laura practically skipped out of the building and back to C&F, with the taste of Carmilla still on her lips. 


	7. The Phone Call

For the next few weeks, Carmilla and Laura continued to be entirely attached. Though they stopped kissing at work - both nervous about being caught. At the zoo they were exactly as they seemed - a bubbly C&F keeper and a surly Big Cat one. But nearly every night they were at each other's apartments, hands and lips tangled, and sometimes Carmilla was the bubbly one, and Laura got surly after a long day.  
  
Carmilla would wake up some days to a morning text from Laura, often accompanied by a selfie of her on her walk or doing yoga, and have to remind herself that it wasn't a dream. Yes, she really had kissed Laura during an animal escape drill. And yes, she curled up on Laura's plush floral couch while Laura pet her hair every other night. This sweet girl had made it past the sarcastic, angry layers, and Carmilla let herself be soft with her.  
  
Betty the fox was still being housed at the Big Cat building - she didn't have any indoor space, and the cold winter continued to be too much for the desert creature, so Carmilla got to see Laura nearly every day. Betty's UTI was almost cleared up, though she still got medicine for it after a flare up the week before. Dr. LaFontaine had come down to check on her the previous day.  
  
Laura walked into the East Wing and Carmilla lit up, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Hey you." Laura threaded her hand with Carmilla's.  
  
"Hi there, cutie," Carmilla responded, kissing her hand before dropping it down.  
  
"Cat 3," called out Carmilla's radio.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"This is Health Center 2, are you near a phone?"  
  
Carmilla exchanged a worried glance with Laura. There were few things that weren't talked about over the radio, none of them good.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Extension 307. Give me a few minutes."  
  
Carmilla led Laura down to the Big Cat office. It was down the hall from the kitchen, and only a bit larger than the medical room. Mostly it was just there for the phone, though it was also where they kept their records on file. Carmilla sat in one of the swivel chairs and offered one to Laura, who rolled closer once the office door was closed.  
  
"Why would they call you specifically?" Laura asked with a quiet voice. Usually medical calls went to a curator.  
  
"Laura," she replied, touching Laura's hand. "I think you know why."  
  
Laura looked down and put her head in her hands. "Betty. Of course. Why wouldn't they call me?"  
  
"I'm the one around her most in the building. I've been handing her medical stuff," Carmilla chewed the inside of her lip nervously. "Maybe LaFontaine knew you were around at this time usually."  
  
The phone rang, startling them both slightly, even though they were expecting it.  
  
"Hey LaFontaine," said Carmilla, then whispered to Laura "Sorry, I don't know how to put it on speaker."  
  
"Hi Carmilla," LaFontaine's voice was heavy.  
  
"Laura's here too."  
  
LaFontaine paused, and sounded confused "Um, okay."  
  
"So, what happened, Doc? Is the medicine not working?"  
  
Laura was leaned against Carmilla, trying to listen in. Carmilla squeezed her hand tightly, trying to reassure her.  
  
"Medicine?"  
  
"The medicine for Betty," Carmilla responded, almost afraid to say the name in front of her poor Laura.  
  
"Oh. Carmilla, I'm not calling about Betty. Betty's fine. I'm calling about Sheridan."  
  
Carmilla felt herself letting go of Laura's hand, and her chest felt empty. "What? Sheridan?"  
  
"Carmilla, I'm so sorry. Remember the blood work we had done a few weeks ago?"  
  
"You said that was just a precaution."  
  
"It was, and it was a good thing we did. Sheridan has the same virus as the cougar had."  
  
"But you can treat it, right?" Carmilla could tell Laura was wrapping around her, but everything felt distant.  
  
"We can't. It's too late, Carmilla. The viral load is out of control, and that was from a few weeks ago. He's going to start fading any day now. It's not a good way to go, Carmilla. I met with the cat curator. We're going to have to euthanize him. I am so, so sorry," LaFontaine sounded like they were tearing up.  
  
"Please. Please no."

 Laura pulled Carmilla's chair close and rested her head on Carmilla's shoulder, rubbing her back softly.

"I know, it breaks my heart too. We have another large animal procedure later in the week, so we're going to have to do it tomorrow morning."  
  
"Tomorrow?"  
  
"Tomorrow. I'm so sorry-"  
  
Carmilla set the receiver down and began to sob. Her whole body felt weak. This was her Sheridan. This couldn't be happening.  
  
Laura must have figured out what the call had been about, as she didn't ask a thing, just wrapped herself around Carmilla like she could hold the world together. For a moment, Carmilla felt like she could.  



	8. The Curator

Laura felt so blindsided, though much less than Carmilla of course. They were still in the office and Laura was kissing Carmilla's temple.  
  
There was a knock on the door. They leapt apart and Laura folded her hands in her lap. The door opened slowly and in came a very tall woman with striking red hair.  
  
"Hey Carmilla. I heard you got the news," she said softly as she walked over to them. Laura thought the voice sounded familiar but couldn't place it. "Oh, hi, I'm Danny. I'm the Big Cat Curator."  
  
Laura shook her hand. "Hi, Danny."  
  
Carmilla was still staring at the phone, jaw clenched impossibly hard to hold back more tears. Laura wanted nothing more than to hold her and it was painful to hold back.  
  
"I know how hard it is when you lose your first one. Here," Danny pulled a leather-wrapped flask out of her back pocket. "It's scotch, 12 year."  
  
Carmilla took the flask and downed a hard gulp, sputtering slightly. She offered it to Laura, but she just shook her head.  
  
"I really didn't want it to happen so fast, you really did deserve more time to say goodbye. But I wanted to tell you - if you want to spend the night here, that would be completely fine. Sheridan will have to stay inside in his holding cage anyways, so you can just stay in West with him. I did it once when we had to put down the Sumatran tiger, Fanu. She was my first," Danny took a deep breath and patted Carmilla on the back.  
  
"Could I come, too?" Laura found herself speaking before she could catch it.  
  
But Danny just smiled. "Of course. Are you thinking of converting, C&F?"  
  
Laura laughed slightly. "Not just yet. Though I've really liked getting to know all the big cats. Especially Sheridan. He's...the first big cat I've ever really interacted with."  
  
"I understand. I once had to help with overnight observations on giraffes and fell in love with them, nearly converted myself,” she paused and looked over at Carmilla as she made her way out the door. “Don’t worry about your afternoon routines, I’ll take care of them. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Laura slid over and took Carmilla’s hand. “It’s okay if you want to be alone with him, by the way. I don’t have to stay here." 

Carmilla kissed her, soft and sweet and sudden. “Please stay.”

“I will,” Laura smiled, kissing Carmilla’s cheek. “I was thinking, I have a lot of camping stuff at my house. My dad and I go on trips every year. I could bring us some sleeping mats and things like that. Also I can run by your apartment for you and pick up clothes if you don’t want to leave.”

“Damn, you are so sweet, you know that?” Carmilla let out a small laugh. “Yes to everything. Thank you so much.”

“You bet, sweetheart. I’m gonna take off early and pick up everything.” 

“Sounds perfect. My keys are in my locker, it’s number 9.”

Laura gave Carmilla another quick kiss, then disappeared out the door.


	9. Overnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like the rapid-fire updates ... can you tell it's my off day?
> 
> I know the death is hella angsty, but animal death is actually a huge part of zookeeper culture and I planned on including it since the beginning. I like fluff, but I wanted this fic to deal with some of the same big issues that the show does, including grief. There will continue to be fluff and cuteness and redemption as the fic continues - don't give up hope!

Carmilla wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting in front of Sheridan’s holding cage. The inside of the building had no windows to see if the sun had set or not, and it seemed all her time had narrowed to looking into Sheridan’s big yellow eyes.

He was lying on his side in the cage, panting slightly, his tail flicking up and down. Carmilla felt she had failed him as a keeper – she should have known he was sick, should have detected some small sign or change. But there was nothing she could do now.

She might have cried herself out, because when she felt the tears coming, her cheeks stayed dry. Sheridan let out a sigh, and a few inches of his tail slipped between the bars. Carmilla stroked the tip of it gently.

The door creaked open behind her. When she turned around, she let out a ridiculously loud laugh that startled some of the cats.

“Odin’s Raven, did you bring an entire camp site?" 

Laura walked through the West door holding what looked like twenty different bags. There were duffels, tote bags, a backpack.

“Oh yes, make witty comments instead of offering to help me,” Laura stuck out her tongue as Carmilla rushed over. She helped disassemble the Jenga of bags around Laura’s arms and set them on the ground one by one. “Now, I’m going to set up the sleep mats. I brought us some dinner too. Your clothes are in the black duffel, I brought your pillow and some of the toiletries on your sink too, and-”

Carmilla scooped Laura into her arms and kissed her hard. “You are too perfect for this world.”

Laura was blushing up a storm. “Keep saying things like that and you’re gonna give a girl an ego.”

“Like you don’t have an ego already,” Carmilla joked, kissing her cheek. “Do you remember how badass you were that first day we met? I was impressed.”

“Right before I accidentally made a terrible innuendo, yes,” Laura laughed. “Now go change, silly.”

Carmilla picked up the black backpack and headed down to the bathroom. It was on the same floor as the kitchen, at the very end of the hall. They had a full shower set up there as well – a lot of the keeper buildings had those just in case. She peeked into the backpack Laura had given her and noticed it included a Ziploc bag –with a sharpie heart drawn on it – that was full of camping toiletries, like mini soaps and shampoos. God, that girl really did think of everything. Her towel was even folded up at the bottom of the bag.

Carmilla took a few minutes to figure out how to turn on the ancient shower, but eventually the rusty water turned clear and began steaming. She realized that seeing Laura was the first time she’d smiled all night, and began grinning to herself as she showered. Once she was assured that she didn’t smell like a giant litterbox anymore, she exited the shower, putting her hair under the hand dryer and hoping it didn’t turn into a frizzy mess. She got dressed in her nice pajamas and slipped on her shoes – there was no way she’d walk across this building in slippers.

As she walked up the stairs, she was almost convinced she was hearing a ghost, until she figured out that soft jazz was playing in the West wing of the building. When she walked in, her jaw dropped.

This didn’t even look like a building anymore. Laura had spread out a huge plaid throw with a massive sleeping bag on top. There was a spread of sandwiches, snacks, and two mugs of tea sitting on the floor. Sitting off to the side, Laura had set up an indoor planetarium projector – the room was dark, but covered in tiny stars and constellations.

“Carmilla! Carmilla don’t cry. I’m sorry, is this not okay?” Laura scrambled over to her, taking Carmilla’s face in her hands.

“Happy tears,” she choked out, kissing Laura’s cheek. “Happy tears, baby.”

“Oh! Phew, good. I was scared. So you like it?”

“I love it. I love all of this,” Carmilla nuzzled into her again, taking a deep breath. Laura had showered when she got home and Carmilla could smell her vanilla body wash, warm against her skin.

Laura took her hand and led Carmilla to the plaid blanket. They sat down together, looking up at Sheridan. He was sitting now and seemed to be scanning the ceiling.

“I remembered you telling me that you think he stargazes. That time you saw him outside on top of his rock, looking straight up into the night sky. I figured if he has to be inside, he should at least get to see the stars,” Laura held Carmilla’s hand and gave her one of the mugs of tea.

“He loves it. I can tell,” Carmilla sipped it – mint, her favorite. “I love it, too.”

“There’s one more surprise. I had to go by the grocery store anyways, and I thought…” Laura trailed off and reached behind her. She pulled out what looked to be an oversized lunchbox from beneath one of the empty duffel bags and opened it. “Sheridan deserved a good last meal.”

Carmilla picked up the package. Two ribeye steaks, over four pounds worth, beautifully marbled. “Oh my god.”

“He can eat it, right? I know you guys give them beef, you said he loves his beef.”

“He can definitely eat it. He’s going to love it. Here, let’s give him a piece.”

They stood close to the cage and Carmilla picked up one of the steaks delicately, waving it slightly. Sheridan’s nose flared and he sauntered over. Carmilla tossed the steak in and Sheridan pounced on it. He held it gingerly between his two front paws and began to tear it apart with his teeth.

“Those sounds he’s making are so adorable,” commented Laura.

“He made those noises on my very first day when I got to feed him. I knew it right then – this was my cat, you know?” Carmilla was tearing up but tried to speak anyways. “I said he wasn’t my baby. But goddamn it, he is. He’s my baby. And now he’s gonna be…”

She couldn’t make it through the sentence. Laura sat down, pulling Carmilla with her, and Carmilla curled up in her lap. Laura stroked her hair.

“I’m so sorry, Carmilla.”

“It’s gonna be okay. It’s like, I knew I would have to deal with this someday. It’s part of being a zookeeper,” Carmilla paused and sat up, looking at Laura. “I’m so glad you’re here with me. I don’t know how I would’ve done this without you. It probably would have involved a lot more alcohol than a sip of 12 year scotch, I can tell you that. It hurts, going through my first animal loss. But having you with me makes it hurt a hell of a lot less.”

Laura kissed her gently and stroked her cheek. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I’m sorry it’s happening, but I’m glad I could be here to help you get through it.”

They finally ate the sandwiches Laura packed – including an extra rare roast beef one for Carmilla – and made their way through the snacks. Carmilla let Laura toss the second steak to Sheridan. They finished the thermos of tea Laura packed and laid side by side on the blanket, looking up at the constellations. Carmilla told Laura stories of Sheridan: the first time she got him to put his paw up for her, the day she gave him a giant boomer ball to play with and he shredded it to pieces, how when it got warmer outside he would sometimes refuse to come in for dinner, the way he always leapt into his pool first thing in the morning on hot summer days and Carmilla would get soaked when he shook off inside.

It was nearing midnight when they climbed into the double sleeping bag together. The miniature planetarium stayed on so they could sleep under the stars. Carmilla reached out and held Laura’s hand between them, taking a shuddering breath. There was something she wanted to say, but damn, was she scared.

“What is it?” Laura asked, scanning Carmilla’s eyes. Of course she could tell.

“I wanted to tell you something, Laura,” Carmilla said shakily. They were facing each other, both on their sides. “I feel like it’s far too early, but I just wanted you to know…”

She trailed off for a second, trying to steady herself. Laura gripped her hand tighter and her brow furrowed.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s more than okay,” Carmilla paused and pulled them closer together. “Laura, I love you.”

Laura broke into a teary-eyed smile. “And I love you, Carmilla.”

They met in the middle with an embrace, holding onto each other tightly. Carmilla kissed her neck, nuzzled her shoulder, had to remind herself that this girl was real. 

Carmilla whispered goodnight to Sheridan. She almost cried again, then Laura tucked her head beneath Carmilla’s and wrapped herself entirely around her. The tears faded and were replaced with a smiling kiss atop Laura’s head.

 


	10. Goodbye

Laura woke up to the sounds of Carmilla softly crying. She looked up and saw her standing next to Sheridan's cage.  
  
"Hey, sweetheart," Laura whispered as she hugged Carmilla from behind. "It's gonna be okay."  
  
"How long do we have?" Carmilla held Laura's hands across her stomach.  
  
Laura looked down at her watch. "Not long actually. We need to get dressed."  
  
They held onto each other for a moment, then broke apart as Carmilla headed downstairs to change. Laura changed into her work clothes quickly. She managed to pack up their small campsite and piled it in the medical room.  
  
Soon, Dr. LaFontaine and a few other vets came in, holding a stretcher. LaFontaine had a tranquilizer rifle slung across their shoulders.  
  
"Will it hurt him at all?" Laura asked gently, looking between Carmilla and LaFontaine.  
  
"A little sting, but it'll be over fast," LaFontaine answered, taking aim between the bars. The tranq gun was louder than Laura expected and she jumped, squeezing Carmilla's hand.  
  
Once the tranquilizer set it, they strapped Sheridan onto the stretcher and carried him down the stairs, loading him into a van. Laura and Carmilla rode in a golf cart with one of the other vets as they headed up to the health center.  
  
The Animal Health Center was at the very back corner of the zoo's grounds. It was a red brick building and it sat on the edge of the service road. It had a ramp on the front, and the team of vets called out a few other technicians to help them carry Sheridan into the building and set him into a large table. His heavy body began to be strapped down.  
  
"Hey guys, give us a couple minutes," said LaFontaine, ushering the other vets out the door of the exam room. They then pulled out their radio, and just said, "We're in Exam 1."  
  
LaFontaine busied themselves with some syringes, and Laura had a moment to be close to the panther. He seemed impossibly large, his head the size of her torso, his paws nearly as big as dinner plates. She kept her distance, but watched as Carmilla fell forward into Sheridan's side. Her face buried into his fur as she petted him back and forth.  
  
The door opened and Laura turned, expecting to see a vet. Instead Lola Perry stood there, holding canvases, paints, and paintbrushes.  
  
"Hi Perry... What is all that?" Laura asked.  
  
"Well LaF told me about this sweetheart and how close Carmilla was with him," Perry paused as she began to organize the supplies. "So I thought I'd bring these. We sometimes do this for the special animals. We're going to get his paw prints and a nose print."  
  
"Are they for the zoo?" Carmilla asked, her voice tinged with bitterness.  
  
"Just one for the zoo. But you'll get to take home the others," Perry handed Carmilla a paintbrush and she broke into a real smile. "You can pick the color."  
  
Carmilla picked a deep blue, and painted it delicately over Sheridan's two front paws. Laura helped press them onto the canvas - they were gorgeous. Perry handed her a very small canvas to get the nose print. Before painting it, Carmilla leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. Laura felt her heart flutter, seeing Carmilla being so gentle with the huge animal.  
  
Once his nose and paw were printed, Perry collected the canvasses to let them dry. "Would it be alright if I stayed?"  
  
Both LaFontaine and Carmilla nodded.  
  
"I wish I could wait longer-" LaF began, but Carmilla cut them off.  
  
"It's okay. I'm ready."  
  
Carmilla knelt in front of Sheridan's face, cradling it in her arms. Laura held onto his paw and kept one hand on Carmilla's shoulder.  
  
LaF gave a nod, then pulled out a large syringe. They put the needle into Sheridan's leg and slowly pushed down the plunger. His breathing slowed, then stopped entirely.  
  
Carmilla clenched her hand into Sheridan's fur, kissed his head, then stood up and collapsed into Laura. She was gripping her shirt, crying with slow breaths, not the rough sobs like before.  
  
Laura kissed Carmilla, a hard peck against the lips, and weaved her fingers through Carmilla's hair. She'd forgotten that they had an audience, all too focused on comforting her girlfriend, and suddenly felt panicked. Carmilla must have realized this too as she pulled back and let go of Laura.  
  
"You uh, didn't see that," said Carmilla quickly, looking at her feet.  
  
LaFontaine looked puzzled. "I mean, if you want to keep it a secret it's your business, but you know there's no rules or anything against it, right? As long as neither of you supervises the other."  
  
Laura bit her lip. "But it's not like, frowned upon?"  
  
Perry and LaFontaine both let out a chuckle. LaFontaine lifted their right hand and gestured for Perry to do the same, as they said "You do realized Perry and I are actually married, right?"  
  
Carmilla raised an eyebrow. Laura's mouth hung open as she scanned both of their rings - LaFontaine's was a plain gold band, Perry's was delicate with a few diamonds. "I had no idea! That's wonderful! Congratulations!"  
  
"What has it been now dear, five years?" Perry smiled, pecking LaFontaine on the cheek.  
  
"And 3 months, yep."  
  
"That's sweet," Carmilla's voice was quiet, looking back down at the panther's body. She gave him a final tight hug.  
  
It sank in just how displaced the humorous moment had been as they all looked between each other and the panther. Laura ran her hand through her hair and sighed. They all quickly shuffled to the back medical office as LaFontaine spoke in hushed tones to the vet assistants. Perry gave each of them a cup of hot chocolate from a thermos, and Laura reached out to hold Carmilla's hand.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I totally spoiled y'all with my rapid fire updates! Work has been very busy and I've been going to sleep early, so I haven't had as much time for this fic. But I'm getting back to it! Preview of the next chapter: we get a look at Laura's apartment, and get some exciting animal news.


	11. Laura's Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic fluff and cuteness abound! Uploaded from mobile, I apologize for any typos.

There was a knock on the door of the medical office, and Danny walked in. She gave Carmilla a light hug. "Hey dear. How are you holding up?"

"Alright," she responded, nodding curtly.

"So, I didn't want to tell you until we knew for sure, and I'm sorry it comes at an awkward time... But I think you'll like this news," Danny rushed through her sentence and was trying to speak delicately, but Carmilla could tell she was excited. "I found out a few days ago that a zoo up north just had a black Serval kitten born. Really rare. They were going to keep it but the mother has started rejecting and they need someone to hand raise it. I was wondering if you'd be interested?"

Carmilla felt her heart race and stomach sink all at once, her body fighting against itself. On one hand, it had been her dream to hand raise one of the big cats. But on the other, Sheridan's body wasn't even cold, and it felt like she was already replacing him. She bit the inside of her cheek as she thought.

"You could also name him if you like," Danny smiled, somehow knowing this would be the key.

"I think that would be great," Carmilla said, her voice seeming higher than it had been in days.

"Excellent," Danny nodded at Perry as she accepted a cup of hot chocolate. "Also, you two are free to take the day off if you like. I know staying up in the building isn't the best ticket to a good night's sleep."

Carmilla looked at Laura, whose entire body seemed to be drooping. They both nodded.

After saying goodbye to LaFontaine and Perry, Laura and Carmilla walked back to the big cat building to get their things. Laura invited Carmilla to her place for the day, which she gratefully accepted.

Carmilla felt at home at Laura's. It was a two bedroom ground floor apartment, with its own small yard where Laura had a garden in the summer. The whole place just felt cozy - big windows with floral curtains, cute owl decor, a freshly made bed every day. Carmilla walked through the door and collapsed onto Laura's couch. Laura pet her back softly and disappeared towards her bedroom. When she came back out, she was wearing a towel.

"I'm going to get in the shower. Would you um, like to join me?" Laura asked, holding her towel tight.

Besides a few heated makeout sessions with some grinding, Laura and Carmilla had stayed mostly chaste when it came to revealing their bodies to each other. The least they would wear was tank tops and panties to bed.

Carmilla could think of nothing she would like better than stepping into a hot shower with her gorgeous girlfriend. "Yes, definitely."

They practically raced to the bathroom together. Laura started the shower, then turned to Carmilla as she toyed with the edge of her shirt. Carmilla hastily stripped it off and cupped Laura's face, kissing her urgently.

"You were...wearing that bra...the second time I met you," Laura said with a strained voice, pausing as Carmilla kissed along her neck and collarbone.

"When I was fixing the heater? You've got quite a good memory," Carmilla grinned. She locked eyes with Laura as she stripped off the bra and dropped it to the floor. Laura's mouth hung open.

"Damn, you are gorgeous," Laura said as she leaned forward and kissed Carmilla's chest. "Did you get this scar from work?"

Carmilla looked down at the jagged spot in the lower center of her chest. "Yeah. Surgery on one of the cheetahs, non-retractable claws you know."

"You're such a badass, you know that?" Laura giggled as she began undoing Carmilla's belt.

"Well I've never had to get an emergency rabies shot because I got bit by a bat on the face."

"That story sounds a lot worse than it, oh..." Laura trailed off as Carmilla stripped down completely, tossing her pants and underwear in a pile. She then reached out and removed Laura's towel.

Their bodies came together immediately, touching every inch of each other's skin. They kissed with a deep need but both were gentle, hesitant as their hands traveled to new places. Laura held Carmilla's hand and pulled her into the shower.

Carmilla stood facing the stream of water and Laura wrapped her arms around her waist. Just a few hours ago they had been standing like this in front of Sheridan's cage. Carmilla felt thankful all over again that Laura was here with her to see her through all this. She turned her head and kissed Laura softly.

Laura got some of her honeysuckle shampoo and began gently washing Carmilla's hair, as Carmilla faced her and started soaping up her body. They both could barely stop smiling and kissing for long enough to get any real cleaning done.

When they had washed off the day, they finally got out of the shower and Laura led them into her bedroom. Laura's room was neat and colorful - a bright blue dresser, soft green shag rug, and her queen bed was piled with soft comforters and yellow pillows. Laura turned the heat up a notch, then climbed into bed. Carmilla slipped under the blanket and snuggled her naked body against Laura's.

"You know," Laura started, nipping at Carmilla's neck. "There are a lot of things I would do right now if I weren't utterly exhausted."

Carmilla giggled and kissed Laura's nose. "All in good time, beautiful. Let's get some rest."

They tangled together - with a few light, teasing caresses - before they both drifted off into a heavy sleep.

It wasn't until early afternoon Carmilla finally stirred from her slumber. She awoke to an incredible smell of cooking and groggily followed her nose to the kitchen after slipping on one of Laura's t-shirts.

"Morning dear," Laura chirped, kissing the top of Carmilla's head. She set down a soda in front of her. "Here's some caffeine for you, my little zombie."

Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled Laura back into a hug, then leaned up and gave her a quick kiss. "What are you making?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread," she responded. Laura was wearing a small frilly apron and the whole kitchen was covered with various bowls, pots, and pans.

Carmilla let out an involuntary groan. "God that sounds amazing."

"Well let's just hope it turns out well," Laura said as she rolled the meatballs. She made them fresh, and Carmilla saw leafy herbs in the meat mix.

Although she tried to help with the cooking, Carmilla mostly just got shooed back to the kitchen table. Laura was particular and she liked doing it on her own - liked treating Carmilla to a nice meal. Carmilla's job was setting the table, though she was always the one to whip up the after-dinner drinks.

They sat down together and Laura lit a few candles. The food was incredible - somehow Laura always managed to turn the simplest meals from plain to extraordinary. Neither seemed to have realized just how hungry they were as they cleared the bread basket and nearly emptied the spaghetti pot.

Carmilla gave her a lingering kiss and nudged her towards the couch. "Go pick us a movie, I'll make us some drinks. Are you feeling chocolate or fruity tonight?"

"Fruity please," Laura answered as she curled up on the couch with a few blankets.

Carmilla headed over to Laura's drink cart. Laura wasn't a huge drinker, but she enjoyed having people over and always wanted a variety. Carmilla had slowly begun adding ingredients and tools to the cart, even bringing her martini shaker to live at Laura's. She combined some coconut rum, pineapple vodka, and guava nectar, then added a touch of seltzer to the shaker. She'd pulled out some large glasses and rimmed them with lime juice and sugar.

"Wow babe, you got fancy tonight," commented Laura as she sipped from the glass. "This is so good."

"After a big dinner like that I had to contribute in some way," Carmilla joked, settling onto the couch next to Laura. She'd picked them an animal documentary of course. "God I wish we didn't have to go to work tomorrow."

"I know, dear," Laura lamented. "But in one more day I get my weekend, and you get yours in two. It's so close."

"But I want it now," huffed Carmilla.

"You're so cute when you're grumpy."

Laura kissed Carmilla's cheek and leaned her whole body back against her. They cuddled up on the couch to watch the movie, taking breaks for long kisses and short tickle fights. Carmilla fell asleep in Laura's arms that night, barely believing how lucky she was.


	12. The Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new kitten comes home and Laura has an important question for Carmilla.

It had been nearly a month since Sheridan passed. Carmilla’s baby Serval was still in quarantine, but she got to visit him every day. She’d named him Sheridan Junior, or S.J. for short.

That day was Laura’s off day, and she’d been in a tizzy. Carmilla called her on her lunch break – S.J. was finally cleared for release. But he had to be fed every six hours, meaning it was going to be, as Carmilla put it, “Betty all over again” that night. Laura tried to ignore the fact that she’d been planning something very important for that night, and perhaps having a kitten the size of a full-grown housecat running around might throw a wrench in things. But she loved her girlfriend and the cat did look pretty cute, so she’d work around it.

The apartment was more spotless than it had been in a long time. Over the past few weeks, Carmilla had been staying over quite often, and her things had ended up in odd bathroom cabinets or random dresser drawers. Everything was tidied now, and Laura turned part of her study into a kitten playpen using plastic fencing she’d meant to put up around her garden. There had been some strategically placed candles, but Laura moved them all to the bedroom after she had a harrowing thought of S.J. thinking one was a firefly and pouncing on it.

Carmilla arrived in a flurry of snow, holding a large crate and huffing a larger backpack. Laura quickly grabbed the crate and kissed Carmilla’s cheek.

“Sorry I’m late, cupcake. The snow is out of control out there,” Carmilla followed her as Laura walked back to the study. “Oh wow, is this for S.J.?”

Laura beamed at the playpen. “Yep. The fencing is sturdy, I figured he can’t jump higher than five feet, right?”

“Definitely not. Are you ready to meet him?” Carmilla smiled at the face Laura was sure looked goofy, but she couldn’t help it. The kitten Carmilla pulled out was adorable, like a cross between a lanky cat and a lion cub, with oversized ears. “He’s really sweet.”

Laura scooped him into her arms and the kitten meowed at her. “Aww, he likes me!”

“Oh yeah. I wore your shirt a couple times to visit him, he’s used to your scent.”

“Wait, are you joking?”

Carmilla shook her head. “I didn’t want to bring him home and have him be confused around you. So I borrowed your zoo polo a few times.”

“You know, I wondered where that shirt went,” Laura joked, kissing Carmilla lightly. “That’s the sweetest, and possibly weirdest, thing you’ve ever done for me.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Carmilla laughed and kissed back. Their kiss got a bit more heated before they remembered the fuzzy bundle between them and set S.J. in his pen.

“So how long do you have before you have to feed him?”

“Not till around 9 o’clock, why?”

Laura made a small noise between a shriek and a giggle and grabbed Carmilla’s hand, leading her into the living room. They sat down on the couch, and Laura scanned around to make sure everything seemed right. Soft music playing, two glasses of red wine on the coffee table, a few non-fire hazard LED candles. Carmilla gave her a confused look and Laura took a deep breath.

“Carmilla, I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” she began, taking both of Carmilla’s hands in hers. “And, well, I’ve told you about my family and all. After my mom died, my dad always told me he regretted waiting so long for everything – waiting to get married or have kids until the right time. He told me ‘the right time is when you feel it’ and just,”

Laura paused, because Carmilla was tearing up and had the softest smile she’d ever seen. Laura lifted a strategically placed book on the coffee table and pulled out a sleek black box about the size of her hand. She set it on Carmilla’s lap. “Open it.”

Inside was a shining silver key. Carmilla picked it up delicately between her fingers and looked at Laura, “Are you… are you asking me to move in with you?”

“I am! Is that okay? I mean you don’t have to say yes, you can wait if—”

Carmilla practically leapt across the couch to kiss Laura, holding her face in her hands. Laura let out a tiny squeak as she pulled Carmilla’s face closer and kissed her back.

“So um, is that a yes?” Laura asked, her forehead pressed against Carmilla’s.

Carmilla laughed, making a small gesture with her hand as she looked down. “Yes, Laura. It’s completely a yes.”

“Perfect! I’ve planned it all out – you can have the first and third drawer in the dresser, though we can keep our zoo shirts in the same drawer, and the right side of the closet, and you can put up some of your art in my room if you want to, well I mean _our_ room now, and I’ve even looked into getting one of those fireplace heaters because I know how much you… love yours… what is that look?” Laura quieted her high-paced babbling, staring at her girlfriend, who had one eyebrow cocked.

“Utter adoration, creampuff,” Carmilla’s hands snaked around Laura’s waist and pulled her in for a heated kiss. She began kissing down Laura’s neck, nibbling at her collarbone. “Would you maybe like to move this to um, our bed?”

Laura’s head was spinning. The step of actually sleeping with her girlfriend had been skipped, as they were both nearly always exhausted and honestly, she’d been holding back. “Yes. But just um, quick note before we do…”

Carmilla paused her dizzying tongue movements and looked up at Laura. “Of course, what is it?”

“There’s something I wanted to tell you. It feels kind of ridiculous. I just, you seem so experienced and honestly sometimes you just like, exude sex, seriously it’s distracting… Anyways, um,” Laura paused, the next few words rushing out of her mouth with an awkward laugh. “I’m a virgin.”

“Oh. Oh! Sweetheart, that is completely okay,” Carmilla gave her a light kiss and rested her hand on Laura’s hip. “Look, I care about being with you, just you. Experience isn’t that big of a deal. Is this why…?”

“We haven’t yet? Yeah. I guess I just wasn’t sure how to say it and I was nervous. I wanted it to be perfect, you know?”

“It’ll be perfect because you’re perfect, darling,” Carmilla nuzzled against her. “God, I can’t believe I just said that.”

“No, it’s good. Cheesy is good. I don’t know why I’m so nervous anyways, I trust you and I like being with you and just god, I really want… like I know I’ve seen you naked because showers and all but…”

“Yeah?” Carmilla grinned, seemingly wanting to hear the words Laura was trying to babble out. 

“I want to have sex with you, and I would like for this to be happening as soon as possible, just be gentle with me, and… oof!” Laura was cut off as Carmilla used her surprising strength to pick her up from the couch and start carrying her to the bedroom.


	13. First Time

Carmilla felt nervous as she set Laura down on the bed. She was honestly a bit surprised this would be her first time - she knew Laura had dated other people and assumed it had happened before. But everyone feels differently about being close with someone in that way, and Laura had always been the type to take her time.  
  
In the middle of a kiss, Carmilla paused. "Okay I hate to ruin the mood, but I should check on S.J. I mostly want to make sure he won't jump the fence and destroy something."  
  
Laura laughed. "That's completely fine, sweetheart. I can be patient."  
  
Carmilla gave her another peck and Laura nibbled at her lip, causing a quiet moan to escape her. "Please, please hold that very thought."  
  
In the next room, S.J. was sleeping soundly. Carmilla carefully lifted his small body into the crate and closed it tight. He would be fine in there for a good while.  
  
When she returned to the room, Carmilla’s breath caught in her throat. Laura was reclined on the bed wearing nothing but matching pink lace lingerie.

“Holy fuck…” Carmilla gasped as she took in the sight, lit by a few candles and the soft glow of a lamp. “You look incredible, Laura.”

Laura sat up on the bed and Carmilla stood between her legs as Laura began removing her clothing. When they were both down to just underwear, Carmilla climbed on top of Laura and began leaving a trail of kisses down her chest as she removed her bra. Laura gasped and Carmilla grinned, loving the sound.

Carmilla explored Laura’s body with her tongue and pressed gentle kisses along her ribcage, her breasts, her hips. She went slowly and spent time appreciating every inch of her gorgeous girlfriend. After pausing to check for the third time if everything was okay, Carmilla’s head slipped between Laura’s thighs and her mouth enveloped Laura’s center. Carmilla felt hands gripping her hair and heard stuttering moans and cries, and she was completely consumed with making Laura feel that ecstasy. She nearly climaxed herself when Laura half-screamed her name and collapsed entirely into the bed.

Carmilla made her way back up to Laura’s lips and kissed her gently, then pulled the smaller girl close. Laura’s head tucked beneath her chin, and Carmilla felt her eyes start to brim with tears. Here she was in the bed she would share with Laura. Here she was holding the girl she cared about more than anything, after making love to her for the first time. The phrase “making love” always seemed trite before, but Carmilla realized this was how it felt. Giving yourself to another person not just in a moment of heated passion and hormones, but in a caring way, letting them know how much you love them just by touch.

“Carm… are you crying?” Laura tilted up and met her eyes. “Sweetie! Are you okay?”

“Mm hmm,” Carmilla muttered, wiping at her eyes and letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m just feeling a lot right now. That… that was amazing, Laura. And just, the fact that we’re going to be living together, just… yeah.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to cry!” Laura laughed with Carmilla and quickly inverted their positions so that Carmilla was pulled against her chest. “I’m still sort of amazed that you really want to move in, I was so scared you’d say no.”

“Laura, of course I wouldn’t say no.”

“You say that, but still – we haven’t been dating that long and sometimes I get worried that you’re gonna wake up and think ‘why am I with this bunny hugger’ and I…”

Carmilla cut her off with a deep kiss. “I am with this bunny hugger because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“God, you’re a sweetheart tonight,” Laura responded as tears started to slip down her cheeks. “I’m so lucky. This badass big cat keeper, best bartender I know, holy god best kisser I’ve ever been with, who can command giant tigers with just a look is all mine.”

“All yours.”

They both wrapped around each other, letting tears fall on each other’s shoulders. They kissed again and again, pulled each other closer than seemed possible, and whispered small sweet things back and forth.

Before they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, Laura put on a robe and Carmilla slipped on some pajamas as they went in to check on S.J. Carmilla picked him up from the crate and he stirred slightly, mewing at her. Laura took him from Carmilla’s arms and held him as Carmilla prepped his bottle. Carmilla stood behind the shorter girl and slid one arm beneath hers, then tipped the bottle into S.J.’s mouth. Laura was holding him like a small baby and she petted him as he purred delightedly, drinking the bottle within a minute. He went back into his play pen and Carmilla turned off the light.

“Goodnight S.J.” said Carmilla and Laura at nearly the same time, then looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“I think we make good animal parents,” joked Carmilla as she slid into bed.

“I mean, we’re zookeepers, that kind of comes with the territory,” responded Laura, slipping under the covers and winding her body around Carmilla.

“I’m just saying, not all keepers tell their animals goodnight, or any of the various at-home sappiness we’ve both had with S.J. and Betty.”

Laura kissed her girlfriend and smiled. “We’re just adorable like that. Now get some sleep, I don’t want you to be too grumbly grump in the morning.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Just because I’m not a little firecracker when the sun rises…”

They giggled and cuddled closer. Their bodies were near-naked but they both seemed to feel relaxed with each other, their hands not hovering or freezing in place as they caressed each other. Right before she fell asleep, Carmilla kissed the smile she somehow knew was on Laura’s lips.


	14. Chapter 14

Laura and Carmilla woke up in each other's arms. After snuggling close for a few moments, the sun began to rise and the house became slight chaos. They both rushed around to get dressed before going to work. Laura made them coffee as Carmilla packed S.J. in his crate.

"I feel like he's been in there all night," Laura frowned as she looked at the little kitten through the mesh.

"I took him out for a while when I fed him, so he's good," Carmilla petted Laura's hair to comfort her and gave her a kiss that went longer than expected. Her body tingled slightly as she was flooded with memories from the previous night and wished she had time to do it all over again before they left. "Oh hey, can we go in your car today? I forgot to get gas last night."

"Sure. I have to stay a half hour late to help with an injection though, is that okay?"

"Yeah, I was probably going to work on S.J.'s enclosure anyways."

They loaded the kitten into the back of Laura's car, and Carmilla curled up with her coffee in the passenger seat. The snow was piling higher now, and the radio announced possibility of a snowstorm later that day. But Carmilla waved it off - they'd been threatened with a blizzard for the past two weeks and everything had been fine. 

Laura gave Carmilla a quick peck after turning off the car. "I still can barely believe last night happened. You're wonderful."

Carmilla blushed. "It was lovely, darling. And hey, I'll have to start packing soon."

One more kiss and they were both off in separate directions. The day itself went by quickly - the Big Cat building was short by one and Carmilla had to do double duty, with a lot of extra diet prep. Most of the cats were locked inside because of the unseasonable temperature drop and the building had no windows, so she was surprised when she got a text from Laura saying the snow was getting much worse. Carmilla shoved open the big cat door to find it was nearly impossible to open, with two feet of packed snow outside it.

It was nearly 5:30 and Carmilla was waiting for Laura to let her know when she was done. Then the lights cut off in the Big Cat building. Carmilla raced downstairs as the generator kicked in and a few dim emergency lights flickered on. Danny flung open the door to the kitchen, covered in snow and throwing off her jacket and hat.

"Thank god you're still here. Alright, looks like the storm knocked out zoo power, just got a call from Maintenance that the whole place is reporting outages. I'm the Manager on Duty today, so it's my problem. I need you to grab the EP binder, now," Danny's voice was firm but even.

Carmilla ran into the office and pulled a white binder labeled "Emergency Preparedness" out of the file cabinet. 

"Give me just a second," she said as she handed the binder to Danny and pulled her cell phone out. She quickly called Laura, stepping into the hallway. "Hey sweetie."

"Babe! The power just went out over here," Laura's voice was shrill and Carmilla could tell she was freaking out.

"I know, looks like the whole zoo is down. It's gonna be fine though, Danny and I are in Big Cats starting with the emergency plan and there should be enough people here to-"

"Who are you talking to?"

Carmilla whipped around and looked at Danny, who was standing with her hands on her hips. 

"Um, Laura, one of the C&F keepers..." Carmilla trailed off, unsure of how much information to give. 

"Well get her over here! We need all the help we can get, almost everyone has left for the day."

Carmilla tried to hide her sigh of relief. "You got it. Laura, did you hear that?"

"I did. I can be there in a few minutes. We already finished the injection and my manager left for the day, I was just observing. I've got to check on everybody then I'll head over. I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

"See you soon."

She went back into the kitchen and saw Danny was double fisting a cell phone and her radio. "Tell the managers to call me if they can make it back. Thank you, Lola."

Carmilla flipped through the binder as Danny hung up. "Alright, so Cats, Reptiles, and Pachyderms all have built in backup generators. So we need to get heat to C&F and the Aviary. Do we know who all is here yet?"

"So far we've got a bird keeper, one giraffe keeper, someone from the health center and your C&F keeper. Plus Lola Perry up at the First Aid cabin."

"Have we called the power company yet?"

"Not yet, you call them. I'm going to keep making all calls on the radio to catch any stragglers." 

One thing Carmilla was great at was keeping a level head during a crisis. She calmly called the power company's business line and discussed the outage - the power was going to be out at least until the morning. With temperatures still dropping, that meant they needed to heat a few of the buildings until it got above freezing. According to the EP binder, there were at least four mobile generators, space heaters, and fuel in the maintenance building. There was an ATV with a cart in the dry food barn that could be used to transport the generators. Carmilla called up to the health center and Dr. LaFontaine was the one still there - they agreed to drive the health center's SUV over to pick up the ATV and meet at the maintenance building. 

Carmilla briefed Danny and when she opened the door, she ran into Laura. They gave each other knowing smiles and hugged close.

"Hey there cupcake. I'm headed over to the maintenance building to pick up heaters, wanna come?" Carmilla asked, straightening Laura's scarf out of habit.

"Sounds good to me."

They started walking down the service road, and Laura reached out to hold Carmilla's hand. No one was really there to see them. 

The zoo was beautiful in the snow. Even in the darkness of the evening, moonlight reflected off nearly every surface. The zoo was eerily quiet with the animals locked in and no buzzing streetlights. Carmilla paused in the middle of the road, right behind the elephant yard, and pulled Laura in to kiss her. They stood wrapped up in each other for a moment, catching their breath amongst the emergency chaos.

"I'm really glad you're here with me," Laura said softly, nuzzling against Carmilla's neck. 

"Me too."

Their hands clasped together as they made the rest of the trek to the maintenance building. Dr. LaFontaine was already there, using the headlights of the ATV to light everything up. 

Laura and Carmilla helped load two generators, two space heaters, and some fuel onto the back of the ATV. The ATV was big enough for three but it was still a tight fit - LaFontaine drove and Laura clung onto the small back seat, wrapping her arms around Carmilla's waist. 

The first stop was the Aviary. A keeper named Natalie met them at the back door and helped haul the generator.

"LaFontaine, if you can help set up this heater, I'll go with Laura and set up the C&F one. Then we'll swing back by to pick you up," said Carmilla as she carried the space heater into the Aviary kitchen.

"Good thinking. Radio when you're on your way back."

The two of them hopped back onto the ATV and Carmilla drove them over to C&F. She parked at the back entrance and pointed the headlights at the door.

"You know, I haven't actually been in the C&F building since I started here," Carmilla mentioned.

Laura's eyebrows raised. "Really? Well we can have a quick look while we're setting everything up." 

They both made quick work of setting up the generator and the heater. The generator stayed outside because of the fumes, and they created a small embankment for it in the snow, lined with a tarp. The extension cord ran inside to the central hallway, and they set up the space heater.

"Would you like to meet our newest baby?" Laura asked, practically giggling with delight. She'd set a large flashlight on the counter and it pointed up at the ceiling.

"Of course," Carmilla smiled at her adorable girlfriend. Just as she was following her to a small cage set on a counter, the flashlight began to flicker.

"Hey there are spare batteries in the supply closet back in the kitchen, by the window. Would you go grab some?" asked Laura as she bent down to inspect at a frightened-looking tiny monkey.

"Yeah, no problem."

Carmilla went to the kitchen, which was barely illuminated by moonlight. She opened the closet door, which seemed to stay propped on its own as she scanned the cramped shelves for batteries. There was a tiny creaking sound, and the door slammed shut. Carmilla twisted the handle and slammed her body against the heavy metal to no avail. Then, she started to scream.


	15. The Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The backstory you've been waiting for is here...

Laura was adjusting the space heater in the dark when she heard an ear-splitting scream.

Carmilla. God, it sounded like she was dying.

Laura had never run so fast. It felt like her legs were propelling her before she even commanded them. She wrenched open the closet door and Carmilla bolted out, collapsing into her arms.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay. Carmilla, breathe! Just breathe baby,” Laura found herself rocking Carmilla back and forth as she sobbed. Her whole body was trembling.

Everything was dark and Laura realized the flashlight must have died. She ran her hands up and down Carmilla’s back, fighting off her own tears. Carmilla’s screams continued to play over and over in her head.

“Sorry,” Carmilla took a deep breath, running her hands through her hair. She walked across the kitchen and outside, flicking on the ATV’s headlights. Laura stood in the packed snow and tried to pull Carmilla in for a hug but she shrugged her off forcefully. “Not now, okay? Let’s just… let’s get the heater set and go get the doctor.”

“Baby, are you sure you don’t want to talk—”

“We don’t have time now, okay?” Carmilla cut her off, her voice biting and angry as she turned away. “Fuck it, I’ll set up the heater myself. Just wait here.”

Laura felt her heart drop. She was reminded of the hardened girl she first met, long before Carmilla became soft and gentle towards her. But even then, Carmilla had never spoken to her that way.

She climbed into the ATV and bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood. She couldn’t do this right now. They had to deal with the power outage. They had to pick up Dr. LaFontaine. They had to sleep somewhere tonight. That was, if Carmilla even wanted to sleep in the same place as her.

“Laura,” Carmilla appeared, shutting the kitchen door and slowly walking over to her side. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

She’d done it now, she’d started crying. Weak little Laura was crying again. 

“Don’t be mean to me,” she choked out. It felt like she was five years old on a playground, talking to her grade-school bully.

“Never. Never again. I swear,” Carmilla’s whole body looked as small and fragile as she sounded. She pulled Laura in and held her against her chest. “I am so, so sorry. I’ll… I’ll explain everything when we’re all done, okay? It’s no excuse. I know it’s not.”

Laura nodded weakly and the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Carmilla didn’t move a single inch except to grip her tighter. After a few minutes Laura situated herself and told Carmilla to start the ATV. They drove over to the Aviary in silence, but Carmilla held her hand the whole way.

Everything seemed like a blur after they picked up Dr. LaFontaine. Natalie the bird keeper decided to stay in the building to watch over her animals, and Laura felt a pang in her stomach. She probably should have done the same. They dropped LaFontaine off at their SUV, and LaFontaine said the two of them were welcome to stay in the First Aid Cabin as it had a gas oven that could keep the building warm. Carmilla drove Laura to pick up the camping supplies she still had in her car, dropped by the Big Cat building to check on everything, and then they finally made their way to their homestead for the night.

Laura set up the sleeping bag on the floor of the kitchen, as far away from the oven as possible just to be safe. Carmilla was being cautious, nervous as she helped arrange everything and finally slid into the giant sleeping bag with Laura. At first Carmilla’s body stayed stiff and rigid on the other side, purposefully not touching an inch of Laura, but Laura moved across and folded herself into Carmilla’s side.

“Talk to me,” whispered Laura, threading her fingers through Carmilla’s.

“I want to apologize first, for not telling you sooner. It’s really hard to talk about still. I know I kind of… leave a lot out when we talk about the past,” Carmilla pauses, and Laura can hear her lick her lips. “You’re so open about everything and I wish it was easy for me like that.”

Laura thinks of all the things Carmilla knows about her, and lists them in her head.

 _Your mom died when you were two and your dad raised you. Your dad was overprotective, but you still had an okay childhood. You drowned yourself in homework in high school and didn’t make many friends. In college you dated one girl, who seemed sweet at first but became overbearing and controlling. You got very stressed out for a while your junior year of college and were frustrated with everyone trying to control you, and you began self-mutilating. It stopped after a few months, but you think about it a lot._  

The last one was a deeply held secret, and she hadn’t told anyone but Carmilla. When she turned the tables, there weren’t a lot of things she could list.

_Carmilla always wanted to work with big cats. She didn’t plan on staying this long at this zoo, but thinks she might be a lifer. Carmilla dated girls in college. Carmilla went to a large university and got good grades. Carmilla once went on a ski trip. Carmilla loves coffee._

She was grasping at straws now. Carmilla had stopped talking for a minute, just breathing deeply and holding her hands tighter. Then she began again.

“Everything was pretty normal in my life for a while. My mom and dad were wonderful and I had a great childhood. They were the most loving people I’ve ever known and I… I wish I’d gotten to spend more time with them. When I was thirteen, my parents died in a car accident,”

Laura’s stomach dropped and she curled tighter into Carmilla, kissing her arm softly.

“My only living family was my grandmother in an assisted living facility, so they ended up sending me to a group home for a few months. When I was fourteen, I entered the system.”

“You went to juvie?” Laura asked, her eyes widening.

“The _foster care_ system, sweetie,” Carmilla replied, smirking. Laura blushed and Carmilla kissed her cheek. “I entered the foster care system. I thought I had really lucked out. They told me the person I was staying with was really rich, and that she’d had other great foster kids before. There were horror stories about foster homes and I was so scared, but they just reassured me that it would be okay…

I was living in a mansion with my foster mother and her son. She seemed perfect at first – she doted on me, made sure I was comfortable. Then after the first case worker check in, everything changed. She... was abusive. She made me clean the entire house on my own, put a lock on the fridge and all the cabinets, took away my possessions at the smallest infraction. She was always punishing me, but I never knew the rules, never knew what I did wrong. She used me as a whipping girl for her perfect son, and he always got away with everything. If I did something really bad, by her standards anyway, she would put me… she would put me in the closet.

The house had an added second garage on the back side. There was a closet there that had never been properly finished – it had a concrete floor and walls, it wasn’t insulated, and there wasn’t a light. Sometimes it would leak, and the water was rusty, so it would sort of look like blood. She would put me out there in the freezing winter with nothing but an old tarp to keep me warm. It was pitch black and cold and dark. I never realized how long I had been in until I got out – hours seemed like days in there.

I thought I would just report her, but I never got a second alone with my caseworker, and she only showed up maybe once a year. She thought since this lady was rich, everything would be fine, you know? And my foster mother homeschooled me, or so she said, so there weren’t many people to talk to.

When I was seventeen, I told my foster mother I was going to leave the house the second I turned eighteen. She locked me in the closet for three days for that. I remember I was so thirsty, I drank the rusty water off the walls. When I was in there, I started planning my escape. For the next year I acted like mother’s little darling. It was brutal, really – worshipping her every step. But she trusted me again, and I was able to find a few of my important papers and information I needed. I waited until a few weeks after I turned eighteen, when I had my stupid diploma for graduating from a homeschool program I never did, and I ran away. I’d saved up extra money she’d given me from shopping trips for a year, and I just ran. I stayed in a sleazy motel for a few days sorting through all the information I had, using their run-down computer, and I tracked down enough to find my grandmother. She was still alive.

She was weak and sick sometimes, but her mind wasn’t gone. She… welcomed me back with open arms and took me in. God, she showed me so much kindness. I’d never seen her that much as a child but we connected as soon as I came back. She helped me find a place to stay, and figured out my parent’s inheritance. I’d pushed away all those thoughts of being a zookeeper when I was in the foster home, I couldn’t think of anything but how miserable I was. But being back with someone who actually loved me just brought out that hope again. With the inheritance money, I could pay for college. I went to school, I volunteered at a big cat sanctuary, I got a job here. I met you. It all worked out in the end.”

Laura leaned her head up and kissed Carmilla. The story had only taken a few moments, but it felt like she’d been listening to the tale for hours.

She held Carmilla’s face in her hands. “I am so sorry all of that happened to you. But it’s so incredible that you made it out, and that you’ve accomplished so much. I love you, Carmilla.”

Carmilla was tearing up and pulled Laura’s forehead against her own. “I love you so much. I wasn’t sure how you’d react, I was scared. I told my first girlfriend, Ell, and she thought I was a freak. She dumped me and told me she didn’t want baggage.”

“Babe! That’s ridiculous,” Laura shook her head. “You’re an amazing person, Carmilla. I love you, all of you. You had to go through something horrible, but you rose above it, and for that I love you all the more."

“I’m sorry again. For yelling at you. I haven’t had a flashback in so long, my feelings were all over the place.”

“You’re okay, sweetheart. I mean, still don’t do it again. But I understand what was going on,” Laura smiled gently, and turned over so that Carmilla was spooned against her. The oven had worked well in warming the room and finally she felt she was thawing out.

Carmilla chuckled. “You know if you’ve changed your mind about moving in with this mess, just let me know.”

“And miss falling asleep in your arms like this every night? Wouldn’t dream of it, Carm.”

Their bodies snuggled closer. The day felt a year long, but as she fell asleep in her girlfriend’s strong arms, Laura felt everything else melt away.


	16. Code Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura face an animal escape together, and this time it isn't a drill! (aka here's some funny zookeeper-day-in-the-life after the angst)

It had been about a week since Carmilla and Laura had been stuck at the zoo for the snow emergency. After Carmilla pulled an overnight shift, Danny had said “If there’s anything you want, now is the time to ask for it, kiddo.” Carmilla had requested her one of her off days be moved – now she and Laura had the same weekend. It was the zookeeper jackpot. 

She’d slowly started moving her things to Laura’s place. After their late night talk where she actually revealed her past, something she’d expected both to happen sooner and later than it did, they had a few more talks about where they stood. Laura accepted her, with her past and trauma and occasional PTSD symptoms. But they did both admit to moving a little fast, and Carmilla decided to keep her apartment until her lease ran out in three months. Carmilla was welcome to spend every night with Laura, but they both still technically had their own places for a little while.

They also started slowly being more open at work – mostly just revealing that they were friends. C&F keepers and the Big Cat keepers usually stayed within their own groups. They turned the occasional head when they ate lunch together in the zoo’s café.

“I swear, that reptile keeper is staring at us,” Laura said, biting into her chicken finger.

Carmilla rolled her eyes playfully. “He might be staring at the sheer number of ketchup cups you’re surrounded by.”

“There are only about five edible things in this café, and this chicken only makes the list because of ketchup.”

“Are you sure the ketchup isn’t the edible thing and you’re simply using the fried chicken as a vehicle?” Carmilla laughed. She was having a black bean burger with extra lettuce, though she’d tossed off the onion, as Laura wasn’t a fan of it. There may have been plans to steal a kiss behind the C&F building before she went back to Big Cats.

“Anyways. Did I tell you they mixed up our supply order _again_? I swear, there really should be separate forms for each department. I shouldn’t have to go through a page and a half of snake hooks just to get to rabbit clips,” Laura had the most indignant scowl on her face and Carmilla couldn’t help but smirk.

 “You clip things to the rabbits?”

“Oh my god. It’s for their cages, though you can use them on just about any small mammal cage…”

Laura trailed off as they both finished their lunches. Carmilla reached out to squeeze her hand quickly, when their radios both switched on to a loud, frantic call.

“We have a Code Yellow animal escape in Africa Two! Repeat, Code Yellow animal escape in Africa Two. Any available personnel please report for crowd control.”

They looked at each other with raised eyebrows. There were almost never Code Yellow drills – Code Red was for dangerous animals, and Code Yellow were non-dangerous. Code Yellow required more help though - Code Green was an easily managed escape, and calling a Code Green was usually just a courtesy to let other keepers know to clear the area. So being a Code Yellow, it pretty much had to be a real escape.

Carmilla dropped the rest of her lunch in the trash and she and Laura rushed out the door. The zoo’s café was a short walk from Africa Two – that was the name of one of the Africa yards, it held a few miniature antelope and some various bird species. It was one of the few zoo exhibits that didn’t have a secondary containment system, so a gate left open for too long could mean an animal running out.

When they approached the yard, about five keepers were standing in a line, directing visitors to clear the area.

“We’ve got enough people for crowd control now I think,” said one of the keepers. Carmilla had never seen him before, and his quiet voice and clean pants let her know he was new. “It would be great if you two could help with containment.”

“Who got out?” asked Laura, rolling up her sleeves.

“Africa Crowned Crane,” answered another keeper in the line. “Clipped wings, but can still get off the ground. Be careful, he’s got a sharp beak.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. All this for a _bird_. “I’ll steer clear.”

They both approached the path next to the yard, and about seven Africa keepers – god they had a lot of people in their department – were all slowly approaching a concrete retaining wall with their arms outstretched. Laura immediately spread her arms as well and gave Carmilla a glare, so she begrudgingly followed.

When the two of them were only a few feet away, Carmilla got a glance at the escapee – it was a fairly large bird, about four feet tall, with a ridiculous yellow thing on its head that resembled the puff of a dandelion.

One of the keepers started to whisper, “Alright, everyone just stay calm, we’ve almost got him, just a little—”

With an incredibly loud _WONK_ sound, the bird flapped its wings and catapulted over the heads of the keepers in the circle.

“God DAMN IT!” Carmilla found herself directly in the bird’s flight path. Its clipped wings betrayed it as it began its descent and fell nearly on top of her. Its head went over her shoulder and she scrambled to wrap her arms around its beating wings, crushing them to its body hard and hoping she wasn’t injuring the creature. Even though the wings were still, its legs and head were flailing around wildly. She could feel its beak poking into her back repeatedly. “Can I get a little help with this freaking  _dinosaur_?!”

Laura was at her side in an instant, grabbing the birds head and stilling its long neck. She was trying not to laugh, but failed miserably. “You did a great job!”

“Thanks dear,” Carmilla replied, her voice softening. Laura’s hand was half on Carmilla’s shoulder as she held the bird’s neck, and her pinky finger ran back and forth along her shirt seam comfortingly.

One of the Africa keepers restrained its legs and began petting down the bird’s back gently.

“I hate to interrupt this bonding moment but can we please get this thing, _jesus christ,_ back in its cage?” Carmilla grumbled, huffing as she struggled to keep the bird still.

“He’s a really nervous animal, we need to calm him down before he goes back into the yard or else he’ll fly into something and hurt himself,” replied the blonde keeper as she continued to pet the bird and coo at him.

“Wait. Do I have to sit here and hold this bird until he’s calmed down?”

“I’m afraid so, trying to transfer him to someone else would be pretty stressful for all involved. Great catch by the way, I haven’t seen a mid-air restraint in a long time.”

Carmilla still couldn’t believe her day went from perfectly normal to holding a giant bird to her chest, while her girlfriend stood with one hand on her shoulder and one wrapped around its surprisingly sharp beak. Then she heard a camera shutter on a phone. 

“The hell was that?” she asked, whipping her head around.

There was Danny, holding up her phone and laughing. “I had to report to the escape and I never thought I’d find my own Cat 3 snuggling the crane.”

“I am not _snuggling_ the damn thing.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw you petting his wing a second ago,” said Laura with a grin. She’d managed to shift her body enough now so that Carmilla could see her.

“He should actually be calmed down enough now. Danny, can you help with putting him back in?” asked the Africa keeper holding the bird’s feet.

“Of course, let’s go.”

Though they only had about one hundred feet to go, trying to get three people holding various parts of a bird’s body to move in sync turned out to be a difficult task. All three of them kept tripping over each other’s feet, to the point where Danny eventually began calling out _left, left, left, right, left_ like a drill sergeant. As much as Carmilla didn’t want to admit it, the technique worked, and they made it through the Africa Two gate.

“Here, lean over and I’m going to put his feet down. Then you two will both release at the same time and back up as fast as you can. Ready?” asked the Africa keeper.

“Ready,” they responded in unison.

Carmilla leaned forward with the other keeper as the bird’s feet reached the ground. “Go!”

Carmilla and Laura both let go scrambled backwards towards the gate. Carmilla watched what she could only describe as the least graceful bird on the planet stumble around its huge yard, flapping its wings and continuing its loud _wonk wonk wonk_ calls. When they’d all caught their breath, Danny let them all out of the gate. Laura hung back for a second and asked Danny something under her breath.

“Code Yellow is all clear and secure,” The Africa keeper said into the radio as she locked and double-checked the gate behind them. “Thank you again for all your help.”

“No problem,” responded Carmilla as she gave a thumbs up and turned to walk away with Laura. They both walked silently for a while, looking like they were on a mission. Being a zookeeper meant being stopped frequently for questions, and neither of them had time for that now. It wasn't until they were almost at Laura's building that Carmilla spoke again. “You know, that was far less fun than our last escape.”

Laura looked puzzled for a second, then blushed. “True. Though we don’t have photographic evidence of that one.”

Carmilla’s eyes went wide. “Laura, I swear to god.”

“Danny’s sending it to me now. If you think for a second that it’s not totally going to be my new phone background...”

Carmilla ended up getting her stolen kiss behind the C&F building after all, though it was while she was also trying to steal Laura’s phone and delete the picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off a true experience - I've never had an animal escape, but I have had to restrain a Crowned Crane before and trying to walk while holding one really is a mess. Also, the sounds they make are hilarious.


	17. On a Leash

"Alright, can you repeat all of that and leave out the completely imbecilic parts?"  
  
Danny rolled her eyes at Carmilla. "It's really not that bad of an idea."  
  
"You just suggested that I walk S.J. around the zoo like he's a puppy!" Carmilla was currently chopping up meat and started gesturing with a large knife. "I don't want people thinking my animals are good house pets. This is ridiculous."  
  
"Like I told you, this is part of a _zoo-wide_ effort to increase visitor-animal interactions. People aren't going to think that every goat or serval on a leash are good pets. And if they do, I am sure you will correct them."  
  
"I have to talk to them, too?" Carmilla grumbled, pulling out her cleaver and slamming into a tough joint.  
  
"Actually, you may not have to. Each animal will have a handler, you, and an escort, so you can tell your escort to talk to them. You know, C&F is doing it too. You could team up with your bunny-hugger buddy," Danny winked at Carmilla.  
  
For a second Carmilla's chest tightened. She really didn't want anyone else knowing her and Laura were dating just yet - even though workplace romances were apparently accepted, they were still often treated awkwardly. She realized Danny was poking fun at her just because she had befriended a C&F keeper, but she was still nervous.

“I mean, it’s whatever, I can do it on my own,” she huffed out, shrugging.

“It might be cute to pair up actually. People might be afraid to approach the cat but C&F’s ambassadors are usually so small, they’re a bit easier for people to handle,” Danny commented, getting an inquisitive look on her face as she obviously planned things out in her head. Carmilla continued to weigh meat on the scale and drop it into various metal pans. “Anyways, we’re going to start some trial runs early next week. I’ll pick up a new harness and collar for S.J., so you can walk him around the building some and out back to practice. Have a good weekend!”

Carmilla had almost forgotten it was about to be the weekend. Her and Laura had taken separate cars to work this morning because Laura had to be there early for a medical procedure on the mongoose. Carmilla didn’t wake up alone very often, and this morning when she reached to the other side of the empty bed, her heart dropped. The more she let Laura in, the more she worried the girl who was _too precious for this world_ would walk away.

She spent her extra time that afternoon with S.J., trying out new training exercises with him. It was a very strange experience to train an animal that didn’t require protected contact. She didn’t have to teach him to stick his tail through bars or place his body at the right angle for access. S.J. wasn’t old enough for much more than very basic commands, and half the time he got those wrong. Mostly she was target training him – getting him to touch his nose to a yellow ping-pong ball she’d glued to the end of an old scrub brush handle. Today she decided to work him more on his paw command. Right now it was mostly important that he raise his paw in the right way, but soon she would start reinforcing that he should do this with his claws retracted, as her hands were covered in small cuts.

“S.J., paw.” 

Usually when S.J. did the paw command, he handed her his paw much like a dog learning to shake. But today he lifted his small paw and pressed it flat against her palm. This was just like Sheridan used to do the command, only without the bars. Carmilla gave S.J. the treat and clicked the clicker repeatedly, the sign that training was done. He climbed into her lap and she hugged him tight – something she’d always secretly wanted to be able to do with Sheridan. His face nuzzled against her as he began purring loudly. Maybe introducing this little guy to the public wouldn’t be so bad.

When Carmilla walked into hers and Laura’s apartment that evening, Laura was flitting around the kitchen wearing her signature blue police box apron. She tried to stifle a giggle.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Carmilla purred, slipping her arms around Laura’s waist from behind. “What time did you get to come home? Also, what are you cooking? It smells amazing in here.”

“Around 3, so I had some extra time since traffic was so light. I made some chicken pot pie earlier and I’m about to put some snickerdoodles in the oven,” chirped Laura, turning and kissing Carmilla’s cheek.

“Pot pie? Cupcake, half the meals you’ve made this week were either wrapped in batter or served with two loaves of bread. We’ve gotta watch our carb intake,” Carmilla laughed. She walked towards the bedroom to change and stopped short at the door. Laura appeared behind her.

“I saw that peeking out of one of your boxes and figured it was time to hang it.”

Above the nightstand on Carmilla’s side of the bed – Carmilla was still getting used to having a side of the bed in the first place – Laura had hung the canvas with Sheridan’s paw print. Carmilla walked up to it and placed her hand gently over the surface, splaying her palm to align with his paw pads.

“Thank you,” Carmilla whispered, smiling. Laura turned her waist gently and gave her a soft kiss.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

With another kiss, Laura went back to the kitchen and Carmilla changed into black sweatpants and an old Sex Pistols shirt. She curled up on the couch and turned on the TV to finish the episode of _Cosmos_ they were watching the previous night. Laura brought her a bowl with the chicken pot pie and snuggled into her side.

“Guess what? We might get to work together for the new Animal Walk program.”

“You didn’t even let me guess,” Laura joked, poking her side. “Yeah my manager mentioned that to me. We’ve actually done little things like that at C&F before – a lot of the animals are good with people so they’ll ask us to bring them to events or something.”

“Danny wants me to bring S.J. Though of course she does, he’s the only animal we have that isn’t going to injure someone. I feel weird about it though, like he’s still pretty young and looks like a kitten, I’m worried people will think he’s a good pet or something.”

“You’re so cute when you’re worried about responsible pet ownership,” Laura giggled. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. I wanna be the handler and Kirsch is going to be the escort. So if he’s both of our escorts I’ll make sure to tell him to be extra intimidating about not having Serval kittens as pets.”

“Kirsch is gonna be our escort?”

“Oh yeah. Even if my manager disagreed, I’m sure Danny would let him do whatever he wanted,” Laura rolled her eyes and met Carmilla’s confused look. “What, I didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I can’t believe I didn’t tell you! Danny’s been coming to our building a lot lately after they fired that maintenance guy since she’s the only other person who really knows how to work the system for the otter pool. Side note, I don’t care what that guy may or may not have been smoking behind the tool shed, I want him back. We still can’t get our ammonium levels right,” Laura was adorable when ranting, especially when she was doing it through a mouthful of pot pie. “Anyways, Danny and Kirsch have been flirting in this strange way where I never know if he’s about to kiss her or she’s about to punch him. And he always calls her Mister, which I guess is one way for a former frat bro to flirt.” 

“He’s not flirting with the Mister thing, sweetie. Danny uses masculine honorifics.”

“She uses what now?”

Carmilla clicks the remote to the next episode of _Cosmos_. “Like how Dr. LaFontaine uses they them pronouns?  Danny uses she and her, but when it comes to titles or formal things, she uses Mister and Sir. Didn’t you notice how I call her sir on the radio?”

Carmilla had always liked that about Danny. When Carmilla first started at the zoo, she wasn’t out. She was worried about how people might react to her being a lesbian. But then she found out about Dr. LaFontaine being non-binary and Danny’s honorifics, and realized this zoo was much more progressive than she thought. She was still a little peeved that she hadn’t found out about LaFontaine and Perry until they revealed it a few months ago.

Laura nodded, then walked to the kitchen as the oven buzzer went off. “Hm, I guess I did notice, I just didn’t think much about it. That’s cool. So still, they’ve still been flirting up a storm in other ways.”

“I can’t believe she made fun of me for being friends with a bunny-hugger when she’s about to date one,” Carmilla muttered, then noticed Laura’s eyebrow rise as she peeked her head back into the living room. “Her term, not mine.”

“At this rate they’ll probably be on the edge of dating for quite a while. Danny still looks like she’s going to give him a swirly in the test tank half the time he opens his mouth.”

“Can’t blame her. Maybe he feels like he’s being emasculated at C&F because he always seems like he’s trying too hard.”

“He’s not that bad. Honestly he has to reach so many tall shelves for me that I can’t speak ill of him, I feel like I’ll jinx myself. And he’s really sweet most of the time. He reminds me of like, a puppy bro.”

Carmilla smirked to herself as she imagined a lanky dog in a snapback. “I guess so. Oh hey, what is your animal you’ll be taking out for the walks, anyways?”

Laura walked back into the living room holding a glass of milk and a plate of warm cookies. Carmilla has to remind herself that she in fact is not dreaming.

“It’s the sugar glider.”

Though now, she kind of wished she was dreaming.

“You’re kidding me. I have to take S.J. out with a _rat_?”

“He is a _marsupial_ thank you very much,” Laura retorted as she bit into a cookie. “Come on, you know it’ll be fun! We get to walk around and see the rest of the zoo, introduce people to our adorable animals, it’ll be great. Admit it, you’re excited.”

Carmilla munched on her own cookie and nearly all of her outrage dissipated because _oh my god this is an amazing cookie_. “Oh fine. But if S.J. eats the rat – sorry, the _marsupial rat_ – I am not responsible.”

“Yeah right, you’d be sleeping on the couch for a week.”


	18. Zoo Walk

Laura found herself waking up before the sunrise that morning as her stomach flipped with excitement. Carmilla was tangled in her tiger-print blanket next to her, snoring softly. Laura had gotten her a separate blanket after one too many late-night tugging battles.

She tip-toed to the kitchen, though honestly Carmilla could sleep through a hurricane. She wanted a special breakfast for them that day. After scanning the cabinets, she found the perfect thing and started to cook.

Before heading back to the bedroom, she grabbed some coffee, knowing Carmilla would be much more likely to react in a positive way if she had her caffeine handy.

“Good morning!” Laura chirped in a sing-song way, flicking on the lights. Carmilla buried herself deeper in the blankets with a groan. “Oh, come on. Sit up, I have a surprise for you.”

Carmilla slurred some sort of response that sounded partly like _what is it_ , but mostly like a low growl. She dragged herself into a sitting position as Laura placed the tray on her lap. “Is that pancake… _cat-shaped?_ ”

“I wanted to be festive!”

Laura knew she must have pouting, because Carmilla’s furrowed brow softened and she gave a half-awake smile. “Well babe, you’re nothing if not festive. But what’s the occasion?”

“You’re kidding. We talked about it before we went to sleep last night!” Laura huffed, slicing into her own pancake that was meant to be a sugar glider, but more resembles a flattened turtle.

“Creampuff, you have got to learn that when I’m wrapped around you in a post-orgasmic haze, I’m not going to remember anything you’re saying.”

Laura felt herself blush. “ _Anyways_ … today is our first Zoo Walk!”

“Oh my god. Can I go back to bed now?”

“Hush, you,” Laura swatted Carmilla’s arm and got up to begin changing.

“At least S.J. will have a good time. And if he’s especially good, I’ll make sure he gets a marsupial treat!” Carmilla laughed.

“Just for that, you don’t get to shower with me this morning,” Laura stuck out her tongue and watched Carmilla’s face fall into the cutest wobbly-chinned pout she’s ever seen. “Okay, that tactic is not even fair.”

Carmilla stripped off her shirt and chased Laura into the bathroom. “In what universe do you expect me to play fair?”

After a too-long shower and a rush of getting dressed, Laura and Carmilla clambered into the car and headed to work. They both had to finish their morning routines before meeting up to go on their walk before lunch. Laura had been practicing her handling of the sugar glider, Susan, for a couple of weeks now but was still nervous for going out in the zoo. Carmilla was lucky enough to have an animal on a leash, but her animal would just be in her hands or in a small pouch. Laura kept Susan in the pouch as she walked quickly to the Big Cat building.

Carmilla was holding S.J.’s leash with one hand and weighing meat with the other. She smiled when she saw Laura walk in, saying quietly, “Hey babe.”

“Hi there,” Laura smiled, then wrinkled her nose slightly. “Carmilla! We’re about to talk to visitors, you need to wash the blood off your hands.”

“Do you think they’re under the impression that the animals I care for are vegetarians?”

“There’s a difference between teaching them about carnivores and _oh my god_ there is a _rat foot_ on your wrist,” she tried to swallow her nausea and took S.J.’s leash from Carmilla. “Sink, now.”

“Fine,” Carmilla scowled, scrubbing her hands under the steaming water. Her brow furrowed even more as Kirsch slammed the door open.

"Hello ladies!” he said in his most booming voice, straightening his polo collar. “I'll be your escort today. Well, but a dude. A dude-scort."

“We were informed of this,” Carmilla spat out.

“Thank you, Kirsch, for being so kind as to walk with us and talk to the public so we can focus on our animals.”

Laura shot a pointed look at Carmilla as she handed back over the leash.

“Thanks,” she grumbled out.

They walked out the door and to the front of the Big Cat building. Spring had just started, and the warmer days had drawn a larger crowd to the zoo. A family with a little boy approached them, his hands immediately reaching towards S.J. Laura’s heart jumped to her throat.

“Hey there, little dude,” Kirsch said as he knelt between the child and the cat. “It is so cool that you wanna meet our little friend! This here is S.J. Will you wave at him with me?”

The child immediately followed Kirsch’s movements, waving at S.J. and even making cat ears on his head when Kirsch suggested it. Laura had never seen Kirsch interact with kids – most of the events C&F was asked to attend were for adults – and she was honestly blown away by how well he was doing. Kirsch introduced Susan to the family, with special attention to the little boy, and soon they were on their way.

“Kirsch, that was so great!”

“Well they didn’t make me an escort because of my winning smile,” he grinned, flipping his hair to the side. “Though, that did help.”

Carmilla wrung S.J.’s leash in her hands and gave Kirsch an appreciative nod. “Really, dude. Thanks for uh, making sure the kiddo didn’t touch S.J.”

“You bet, kitty – I uh, mean Carmilla. No problem. Now let’s go meet some more people!”

As they began walking through the rest of the zoo, it became clear that their method of interacting with every group of visitors individually wasn’t going to work. The crowds were just too much. Kirsch began stopping them at every cluster of people, placing Carmilla and Laura behind him. He would stand on the path and announce the animals’ presence as they stood on the grass. After giving a short introduction to both of the animals, he directed the group on taking pictures of S.J. or petting Susan. It became an easy system after only one or two stops.

Near the Aviary, they ran into Natalie and another bird keeper. Natalie held a small black bird with a pointed yellow bill on her hand.

“Hi guys! How’s your walk going?”

“Not too bad, though S.J. might have scarfed down one of your free-range chickens…”

“Carmilla!” yelped Laura, giving a sympathetic look to Natalie.

“I hope to hell you aren’t kidding, one less of those things to count would be a blessing,” she laughed. “Oh, meet Captain. He’s a Bearded Barbet. You can pet him if you want.”

Laura didn’t get a chance to move before Carmilla had stepped in front of her, delicately running two fingers down the small bird’s back. “It almost feels like he has fur.”

“I know, right? He’s so soft, one of the reasons I picked him for the walk. Who’s this little fella?” Natalie reached down towards S.J.

“Here, hold out your hand,” Carmilla motioned, then said “S.J., paw.”

S.J. gave his paw to Natalie, who shook it with a giggle. “Aw thank you!”

“You should be hella honored, bro. Nobody’s gotten to do that so far,” said Kirsch. “Oh hey, is there a bathroom in the bird house? I really gotta whiz.”

“Whiz? I’m sorry, are you a 13 year old skater boy?” said an indignant voice behind them. It was Danny, she must have just come from the primate building.

“Shut it, psycho kitty. Do you know where the nearest john is?”

Laura leaned close enough to cup Carmilla’s ear and whispered, “See what I mean?" 

Carmilla had an amused look on her face as they both watched Kirsch and Danny bicker. Eventually it was decided that the best restroom for them was the keeper-only one in the pachyderm building, as they shouldn’t bring the animals near one of the public ones.

They all said goodbye to Natalie and Captain and hurried on the service road over to pachyderms. Laura and Carmilla stayed outside while Danny and Kirsch went into the building. Danny excused this by saying she had to open the back doors, as she was the only one of them with a key.

Once she was out of sight, Laura shook her head. “Couldn’t she have just radioed to someone in pachyderms to open the door?”

“Well sure, but then she wouldn’t have an excuse to follow Kirsch to the bathroom,” Carmilla smirked, leaning down to pet a tired-looking S.J. “You’re right about those two, it’s sickening.”

“I guess they have to be more careful though – doesn’t Danny oversee all the mammal departments? She would technically be his boss.”

“Actually, I think your curator is the general one for the rest of the mammals. Big Cats just lucked out with an oddly-specific curator.”

“And you say you aren’t a favorite,” Laura joked, sticking out her tongue. “You’re lucky. You get your own curator and I barely see mine once a month.”

Carmilla leaned closer. “I may be lucky, but it has nothing to do with whatever curator I may or may not have.”

The door next to them wrenched open and there stood a blonde keeper. From her knees down, her pants were caked with mud and straw.

“Are you guys waiting to get in? Sorry, I might not have heard the radio call,” she commented, coming closer. A strong scent hit Laura’s nose as she realized the substance on her pants was _not_ mud.

“Nah, we’re just waiting on Danny. She snuck in there to use your bathroom,” Carmilla explained, pointing behind the keeper.

“Oh hey, you’re the girl who caught the crowned crane last week! I uh, helped you carry it. I’m Elsie, by the way.”

Elsie extended her hand for Carmilla, who politely shook it. Laura noticed that not only had Elsie not introduced herself to her, she hadn’t even looked in her direction. And the smile she was giving Carmilla made Laura wonder if she could get Susan to bite on command.

“So you’re in Big Cats, huh? That is so badass. I love the elephants and all but I would kill to meet a tiger or lion or something. Could you give me a tour sometime?” Elsie moved even closer to Carmilla, placing a hand on her arm.

At this point, Laura could feel her cheeks grow a deep red as she folded her arms tightly and glared. Carmilla awkwardly looked down at the spot above her elbow where Elsie’s fingers grazed and shuffled back. _About damn time._

“You should ask Danny, she’s the one who gives tours. She has to give clearance,” Carmilla said flatly.

“Maybe I could come by after hours,” Elsie said, winking.

“Okay! That is enough, elephant girl.”

Laura stepped up next to Carmilla. She knew she was going full-on death stare now but her throat felt dry as she realized she had no idea what explanation to give.

“Excuse me?” Elsie looked between them.

“Elsie, this is my girlfriend, Laura,” Carmilla said as she wrapped her arm around Laura’s shoulders. “She was there when we caught the bird, as you may remember.”

Laura felt about a foot taller and her cheeks blushed in an entirely new way. _Girlfriend? Did she really just say that?_

“Oh, uh, hi.”  Elsie didn’t even try to shake her hand, just stood there slowly deflating.

The door behind her swung open again and Danny and Kirsch emerged, still arguing.

“You can’t just cut out negative reinforcement! It’s not like you’re going to hurt their damn feelings,” Danny said in a voice barely below a scream.

“You don’t know that! You haven’t had to look a sad mongoose in the eye, thank you.”

“Aw, aren’t you such a little softie. I might as well lock you in with the bunnies.”

Elsie threw up her hands and blurted out, “I swear to god, is anyone here _not_ dating? This is ridiculous!”

Danny and Kirsch froze, both of their hands still raised from wild gesticulating, and said perfectly in tandem, “What?”

Laura and Carmilla both broke into laughter. Elsie stormed back into the pachyderm building as Danny ran off muttering something about _ridiculous accusations_ and needing to check on the cheetah up at the health center.

Kirsch stared after Danny with a confused look on his face before his eyes made their way over to Carmilla and Laura. “Are you uh, ladies about ready to finish up the walk? Maybe we could head to C&F instead of um, Big Cats.”

Laura bit her lip. She felt sorry for Kirsch. All this time she assumed it was clear that they both liked each other, but it appeared that Kirsch’s flirting may have been more one-sided than she thought. 

They made their way back to C&F with only one stop in between. Kirsch walked into the kitchen without looking back. Laura took a seat on the bench next to the door – which was rarely used, mostly because it was often covered in snow. Susan was snug in her pouch, which was slung across Laura’s chest. S.J. curled up on the ground next to Carmilla’s feet, in obvious need of a cat nap.

“So. Girlfriend, huh?” Laura said with a grin.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, obviously trying to hide her blush. “I wasn’t going to let that fish-chucker flirt with me for another second, alright?”

“Fish chucker?”

“Oh, she used to work in sea lions. I would see her down there when I picked up meat from the diet center.”

Laura poked her side. “Do you seriously have a derogatory name for every department?”

“It’s not like I came up with them myself!”

“Either way,” Laura commented as she threaded her fingers with Carmilla’s. “Thanks. For you know, saying it.”

Carmilla kissed her cheek. “I’m tired of pretending, sweetheart. You are way too cute to hide.”

“Oh my god,” Laura smiled. “I swear, I’m going to lock _you_ in with the bunnies.”

“You know, I need to keep my air of intimidation. Make sure you wipe that phrase from your memory,” Carmilla said, her last words swallowed as she kissed Laura with sweet fervor. The spring day seemed to grow even warmer and for a moment, the zoo was quiet but for their laughter.


	19. The Otter Slide

"You know, I had this idea for the otters..." Laura began as she reached across the table for another breadstick.  
  
"First of all, I don't know how you're still eating those. They literally taste like solidified garlic. Second, I thought we said no work talk on date night?" Carmilla was helping herself to one of her special-ordered plain breadsticks.  
  
"Babe, if we don't talk about work, we're going to end up discussing either how to arrange the dishes in the cabinet or one of those Netflix documentaries. Unless you want to hear me rant about my seedlings again."  
  
"So what about the otters?"  
  
Laura grinned. "So the otters need more enrichment in their enclosure. We've tried a few things in the past, like fish-sicles and PVC pipes, but they just get bored easily. And they also need more exercise. I was thinking I might install a slide and see how they react."

"A slide? What kind of slide?"  
  
"Probably just one of those tough plastic ones for kids. I could modify the steps and make it a ramp that was easier for the otters to climb. There's this one spot of fake rock on their beach that has a lip on it, so I could probably secure it there. I was wondering if you could help me with it?"  
  
"Of course, babe," Carmilla continued to look around for their server, who really should have brought their food by now. Maybe she shouldn’t agree to things when she’s hungry.   
  
"Yay!" Laura clapped excitedly, in a way that made Carmilla equally want to swoon and hide under the table.

"Not that I want to get out of helping you, because I can always lend a hand, but why can't Kirsch or that other keeper help you?"  
  
"Kirsch is still weird around me after Danny thing during zoo walk, and Sarah is up at Dr. Spielsdorf's office so much she might as well be a lab assistant rather than a zookeeper." Laura said the last part of her sentence with vigor as she tore into her sixth breadstick. “I’m actually supposed to be graced with her majesty’s presence sometime this week. I haven’t seen her in two months.”  
  
Their food finally arrived and Carmilla dug into her beef tip pasta. "It must suck not to have your curator around. Danny is so helpful, I can't imagine having one that's so hands-off."  
  
"I mean, Dr. Spielsdorf apparently helps the zoo a lot by making us known for research, which means we get cooler animals and more attention from scientists. She publishes like, five major articles a year – which you would know by the way if you ever  _read_  your zoo newsletter. But yeah, I do wish she'd actually check in more. I kinda feel like C&F is her red-headed step child. She shows up to primates and Africa every other week, and actually uses those animals in her research.”

“Well primates are a little more common in research than your little ratatouille thing up in quarantine.”

“ _Agouti_ ,” Laura corrected quickly, cutting into her chicken parmesan. “And don’t pretend like you didn’t think it was cute.”

“It was cute until I saw it move its freaky little monkey arms,” Carmilla retorted as she shuddered.

“Well anyways, I asked around and one of the bear keepers might have a slide I can use. The bears sometimes get big plastic playground equipment as enrichment. If it hasn’t been too torn up, we could move it the day after tomorrow.” 

“Sounds good.”

Moving a plastic slide across the zoo and into a cramped otter exhibit may have sounded good to Carmilla when she was enjoying a nice dinner with her girlfriend, but two days later when it was barely sunrise and she was holding it in the back of a golf cart, it didn’t seem like the greatest idea.

She and Laura had arrived at the zoo an hour earlier than usual to move the slide into the exhibit. Carmilla managed to get another keeper to cover part of her morning routine, and the usually absent keeper that Laura worked with had come down for the day.

“It was supposed to pop apart easier than this,” Laura huffed. She was holding onto one end of the slide while Carmilla pulled at the tiny steps. The slide was meant to break into two pieces, but seemed hell-bent on staying in one.

“I can feel something moving. There we go!” Carmilla grinned as the slide split.

They both carried their separate pieces up the steps. The otter exhibit was the most complex in the building. It was floor-to-ceiling, with a seven foot deep pool, two islands, and an artificial beach. There were steep metal steps to get into the exhibit, and once inside the ceiling was barely 5 feet above your head.  Because of the nature of their complicated exhibit, the otters didn’t have a back holding. That meant Carmilla was about to deal with wet little weasels running underfoot.  

Once they got into the exhibit, they made quick work of reassembling the slide. It fit near perfectly into the lip on the false rock – which Laura confirmed was its only redeeming quality, seeing as she had tripped on it dozens of times. They placed large rocks on the backs and sides of the ladder to secure it in place.

“So the last step is the ramp, right?” Carmilla took a wary glance at the island, where the two otters were sunning themselves under a heat lamp.

“Yep! I’ll go grab it. You stay here and guard the slide. I don’t want them trying to climb on the ladder yet.”

“You can count on me to keep the little bath toys at bay.”

Carmilla could practically hear Laura roll her eyes as she descended the staircase. When Laura shut the door behind her, one of the otters perked up as if on cue.

“Don’t even think about it,” Carmilla said sternly. The otter didn’t seem intimidated as it lazily slipped into the water. It surfaced right next to her, eyeing the slide. “Step off, you overgrown rat.”

Carmilla waved her boot in its face, trying to block the small creature. Then the second otter hopped onto the beach. “Okay, working as a team is not allowed. Get back in the water,  _now_!”

Of course her words had no effect on the curious animals as they both approached the slide. She lifted her foot again, kicking the air and trying to ward off the otters. The foot she had on the ground felt less than stable. After the squeak of her boot against the edge of the beach, ice-cold water rushed around her.

“Carmilla! Carmilla are you okay?" 

She heard Laura’s voice behind her as she clambered onto one of the islands – they were closer to her than the beach. When she looked up, she saw a dark-skinned woman in a bright white lab coat staring at her from the other side otter window. Oh sh

“I’m fine! I’m good. Just very wet. Alright, help me get back on this damn beach.”

Carmilla’s clothes felt like they weighed forty pounds. She took off her strong rubber boots, as they’d filled with water as soon as she fell in the pool. Laura grabbed her belt loops tightly and helped hoist her up next to the slide. She half-crawled towards the door, and managed to stand up on a more textured spot right in front of it.

Laura leaned towards her to kiss her cheek and Carmilla ducked. “Babe, I think your curator is here.”

“What?”

“Short hair, lab coat, ringing a bell?”

“Damn, her timing sucks. Okay, try to wring yourself out as much as you can right here. I’ll go check in with her.” Laura paused and shouted over Carmilla’s shoulder. “Bonnie, Clyde, I swear if you don’t get back in that water you are NOT getting your fishy treat tonight!”

“On a scale of one to Bonnie and Clyde, how much do I look like a drowned rat right now?”

“Sweetie at this point you might as well be a seal.”

Carmilla groaned as Laura shut the door. She did her best to get most of the water out of her clothes, but there wasn’t much she could do without a towel or industrial strength hair dryer. Once she felt slightly less like she climbed off a lazy river ride, she slid out the door and down the steps.

“There you are.”

Carmilla turned on her heels to see the woman in the lab coat again. She ran through a list of rules she was probably breaking. “Oh, uh, hi. I was just leaving.”

“Don’t be silly, not when you’re all wet. I’ve got a washer and dryer up at my office. We can take the golf cart. Laura is looking through some of our spare clothes to find something that will fit you.” The woman,  _oh right, Dr. Spielsdorf_ , put her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. She was smiling. It was a warm smile, not the fake ones Carmilla was used to seeing plastered on the faces of other curators and managers in the zoo.

“Oh, thank you. That… that sounds great.”

They walked to the kitchen on the other side of the building, where Laura was standing with an apologetic look on her face and a bundle of clothes in her arms. She handed the clothes to Carmilla then rushed off to secure the textured ramp to the slide just in case.

The ride in the golf cart made Carmilla even colder as the wind chilled the water on her skin. But she enjoyed listening to Dr. Spielsdorf talk. She discussed the research she was working on, the plans for a new service road in the zoo, and how the Agouti was doing at quarantine. The last part made Laura light up. Carmilla could tell she was surprised Dr. Spielsdorf had even seen their new animal.

“Here we are, my humble abode,” said Dr. Speilsdorf as she pulled the golf cart into the gravel driveway. Her office was apparently set up in an old stone house on the property.

As soon as they got inside, Carmilla disappeared into the downstairs bathroom to shower and change into the dry clothes. Laura took the pile of her wet clothes and went to wash them. When Carmilla was finally dry again, she walked out of the bathroom and made her way upstairs. The house was gorgeous – its stone walls and plush rugs reminded her of a castle. She had only seen it once before, when they had to drive the zoo truck into a particularly remote part of the woods to find a tree for the lion enclosure. She remembered thinking whoever got to use it as an office must be pretty pissed that it was so far away from everything, but being inside she could see it was worth it. Upstairs she found Laura and Dr. Spielsdorf next to the fireplace in a nice living room. Dr. Spielsdorf handed her a cup of tea.

“Thanks so much. This place is amazing.” Carmilla sat down on the couch next to Laura, who gave her a soft smile.

“You’re welcome. And thank you. It used to be the office for the director of the zoo, but when I needed more room for my lab I ended up taking it over. He’s probably still down at the admin building complaining about it,” Dr. Spielsdorf laughed. She sat with her legs crossed in a wing-backed armchair and for a moment appeared much more like royalty than a scientist. “So tell me, how are things in Big Cats? Mr. Lawrence and I barely see each other outside of meetings, I haven’t gotten to hear about them in a while.”

“Things are good! We just got a melanistic serval kitten that I’ve been working with, I took him on the zoo walk with Laura.” Carmilla felt awkward being asked about Big Cats and tried to shift the focus back to C&F. “That sugar glider was so cute.”

Laura gave her an  _I know what you’re doing_ look over her mug of cocoa. “Aw thanks, Carmilla. Susan did do a pretty good job out with the visitors. They really liked her, and I think we’re definitely getting people more interested in the C&F animals.”

“That’s excellent, Laura,” Dr. Spielsdorf nodded at her. “Sarah’s been keeping me updated on things around Small Mammals. Though she is on an opposite routine than you, so I don’t hear as much about your side of the building. How is everything?”

Carmilla had to remind herself that ‘small mammals’ was indeed part of the full title of the C&F building. She then found herself distracted by Laura’s adorably excited rambling about all of the animals and their various diet changes or behavioral improvements. Somewhere in the house, a buzzer went off.

Dr. Spielsdorf looked behind her, breaking her concentration from Laura. “Oh, that must be the washing machine. I’ll go put the clothes in the dryer.”

Once she disappeared out of the room, Carmilla looked to Laura and reached for her hand. “Babe, this is going great! Maybe you aren’t the red-headed step child after all.”

Laura kissed Carmilla’s fingers. “Well, I haven’t gotten around to asking her about any of the work orders we’ve got backlogged, but it’s definitely not going too badly. You know if all I had to do was drop you in the otter pool to get her to notice us, I should have done it a lot sooner.”

“Fine, mock the fact that I nearly got eaten by skinny, rabid beavers.” Carmilla bumped into Laura’s shoulder.

“Oh yes, you were ten seconds away from Bonnie and Clyde  _nuzzling_ you to death.”

When Dr. Spielsdorf returned, she invited them to take a tour of the lab. The lab was actually a converted den and bedroom, but it looked near-professional: clean white walls, incubators full of samples, and a huge heavy-duty freezer. There was a large corkboard with neat rows of paper that showed the plans for her different research. Carmilla’s jaw nearly dropped – she had at least ten different projects going on. Even though Carmilla loved how hands-on Danny always was, she was a bit jealous of Dr. Spielsdorf’s scientific accomplishments. It was incredibly rare for a curator to get to do research at all, let alone such a huge amount of it.

After their tour, Carmilla’s uniform was all dry and it was time for her and Laura to head back to their routines. Dr. Spielsdorf told Carmilla she was welcome back any time. For once she actually felt like taking up that offer.

“That was really nice,” Carmilla commented as she climbed into the driver’s seat of the golf cart. “Also, I’m really glad we borrowed this from the health center and not zoo services because we are  _so_ late.”

“It was. Dr. Spielsdorf really likes you. She may in fact like you more than me. Which I am not jealous of in the slightest,” Laura stuck out her tongue.

After a quick check back towards the house, Carmilla pecked Laura on the lips. “Sweetheart did you see how she was listening to you telling stories of the bats’ new pooping spot? She has to like you quite a lot to be so engaged in that story.”

Laura blushed. “Well, I hope so. I’m sorry, by the way. That you fell in the pool.”

“It’s fine, it was my own clumsiness that did me in. Are you still sure you want me helping with your garden? I don’t trust myself with pruning shears.”

“Yeah, says the girl who uses a meat cleaver every day.” 

Laura’s hand found Carmilla’s thigh. They were too far away from the zoo to worry about getting caught by anyone, and the contact made Carmilla feel the still-chilled parts of her body grow warmer.

Not that getting caught mattered as much anymore. Danny knew now, as well as Kirsch and that fish-chucker and pretty much anyone else that had asked. Carmilla had never really felt like she would be the kind of girlfriend someone would be proud of, but Laura would beam like she’d won a Nobel Prize when she told a new person they were together. It was certainly something she could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for my ridiculous animal names.


	20. Daddy Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's father comes to town, causing emotions to run a little high...

Laura and Carmilla had driven separately to work that day. Even though they were mostly full-time living together now, they had a lot of schedule differences that put carpooling off the table.  
  
Laura decided to drop by the grocery store before she headed home. She was trying to choose between a few different half-price bakery cookies when her phone started blaring the Andy Griffith theme song - her dad's ring tone.  
  
"Hey there! What's up?”

“Are you driving?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Dad. We’ve been over this. I don’t answer my phone when I’m driving!”

“You can never be too careful. So how are you sweetheart? Are you home?”

“Am I, wait,” she set down the cookies and sighed. Oh no. “Dad, are you here?”

“Not yet! But close. I know you don’t like unannounced visits but I had an emergency business trip and I’m only thirty minutes away! Still got the comfiest couch ever?”

She did indeed still have the comfiest couch ever, and it was one her girlfriend was probably asleep on. “I’ll see you soon, dad! I’m going to go get everything ready.” 

After a too-fast drive her father wouldn’t have liked, Laura walked into the kitchen and was about to set her bags down on the table when she saw it was full. In fact, nearly every surface in the kitchen seemed to be covered with ice trays. Carmilla - dressed in her pajama pants without pockets, no wonder she didn't have answer her phone - was pouring red kool-aid into the trays. Very thick red kool-aid. That smelled like meat. Oh god-  
  
"What in the name of hell and Hogwarts are you doing in my kitchen?"  
  
"Oh, so when I make you dinner it's our kitchen, but when I'm making blood pops, it's yours," Carmilla said with a smirk that Laura did not remotely have time for.  
  
"Carmilla! My dad will be here any second!"  
  
She froze. "Wait, huh? You didn't tell me your dad was visiting!"  
  
"I didn't know till like ten minutes ago. He had an emergency business trip. You would’ve known when I did had you answered your phone. Anyways, we need to get these out of here!"  
  
"Babe, enrichment day is tomorrow. Do you think I would be pouring blood into novelty ice trays if I didn't have to? We don't have room for them in the big cat freezer," Carmila reached for the freezer door and Laura shut it.  
  
"You can't put blood in my freezer while my dad is here."  
  
"Again with the possession is nine tenths thing," Carmilla chuckled and set down the ice tray. She put her hands on Laura's shoulders and rubbed her thumbs up and down lightly. "Laura, sweetheart, your dad knows I work with carnivores. I'm sure he won't be too freaked out?"  
  
Laura sighed deeply. "He’s going to freak out over unsanitary not-for-human-consumption animal blood in the house. Here, I’ve got that fancy cooler he got me for camping trips – could we stuff it with ice packs and put them in the car?”

Carmilla tapped her finger along the edges of a skull and crossbones ice tray. “Alright, that could work. If they melt, you owe me big time.”

“I will wash your uniform _by hand_ to get that ocelot pee scent out.”

“Damn babe, you got it.”

Laura set up the cooler and ice packs in the car. They carefully carried the ice trays out to it. That way if any spilled, it would just be from a single tray. Laura started wiping down the counters as Carmilla carried the last tray towards the door.

“Hello buttercup! Are you in … oh my god, what is this?”

Laura’s eyes shot to her front door to see her father with the front of his white shirt and khakis covered in blood, and Carmilla, frozen in place, holding the still-dripping tray.

“I am _so_ sorry Mr. Hollis. Are you okay? No! Don’t put that in your mouth!” Carmilla screamed.

Laura’s father paused with his finger inches from his lips. He took a sniff and wrinkled his nose. “…this isn’t fruit punch, is it?”

Laura began patting her father down with a few kitchen towels and felt like she was about to cry. “It’s… it’s a project of Carmilla’s… for work…. Oh, and dad, this is my girlfriend, Carmilla.”

“Nice to meet you, Carmilla. So tell me, is this blood?” his voice had a slight uptick that at least made Laura think he wasn’t on the verge of setting his clothes on fire.

“It is, sir. I am so, so sorry, I was just-”

With that, Mr. Hollis laughed and said, “Well, buttercup, if you were dating a vampire, you really could have told me!”

Carmilla’s face crumpled into an attempt at a smile as Mr. Hollis thumped her on the back. Laura let herself giggle and took a deep breath. Oh thank god.

“Not that I don’t respect your life choices Carmilla, but I do believe I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

As he headed towards the bathroom, Carmilla cried out, “You do know it’s for the big cats, right?”

He nodded to her. “Yes, dear. As Laura has probably told you, I do try to be funny sometimes.”

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Carmilla collapsed into Laura’s shoulder. “What a way to make a first impression, huh?”

Laura hugged her girlfriend close, nuzzling into her hair. Carmilla miraculously didn’t smell like blood. “It’s okay. I’m glad he laughed about it. He definitely likes you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I love you, so I know he likes you.”

Carmilla tried to smirk but it blew into a true grin, and she kissed Laura gently. They both cleaned up, and made quick work of a nice dinner for Laura’s father. After Laura brought him his suitcase from the car, he emerged from the office wearing a button-up plaid pajama shirt with matching pants. Laura tried not to blush on his account.

Dinner went over mostly well. Carmilla and her father were making jokes about blood in no time, and he’d only asked her twice if she needed any new locks put on the doors or windows of the apartment. Although then he mentioned he’d be shipping a new day-of-the-week bear spray set for both her _and_ Carmilla next time.

“Dad, I think we’re both set on bear spray. Carmilla’s on the rifle team at work and well, the scariest thing I work with is an Agouti.”

“Oh, he’s coming down from quarantine on Tuesday, by the way,” Carmilla mentioned, sipping on her after-dinner cocktail. She’d made herself a gin and tonic while Laura and her father got Bailey’s hot chocolate.

Laura ran her thumb along the edge of the mug. “Wait, how do you know that?”

“Dr. S told me the other day. Aren’t you excited?”

“Who’s Dr. S?” asked Mr. Hollis with a smile. He was looking between them expecting a fun story, but Laura couldn’t even meet his eyes.

“ _Dr. Speilsdorf_ is my curator,” said Laura, tilting her head. “Who I didn’t realize Carmilla was on a nicknames basis with.”

“Have you tried pronouncing her name more than once in conversation? It gets old.”

Carmilla laughed but Laura just felt her chest tightening. “Well yes, I have, seeing as she’s _my_ curator. The person who could fire me at any second if she wanted to.”

“Laura, no one would fire you!” said her father.

“…sweetheart, it’s not a big deal,” Carmilla got up from the couch and started to take Laura’s empty mug from her hand, but Laura pulled away.

“You’ve been hanging out with my boss without telling me and it’s not a big deal? What have you told her? I can’t believe you would go behind my back then drop it in a conversation, _with my father here_ , expecting me not to take it seriously. The things I tell you are private, Carmilla, she doesn’t need to know-”

“She doesn’t know anything! Did you stop to think for a second that we weren’t talking about you? That maybe she was _checking_ on my after _my_ curator has been M.I.A. because of her new fling with _your_ coworker? You’re being a child, and you understand _nothing_ ,” Carmilla grabbed her keys and opened the front door. Before she left, she looked back at the couch with a softened expression. “Sorry, Mr. Hollis. It really was a pleasure to meet you.”

With that, she walked out. Laura sat there with her mouth open, trying to catch a breath, already wishing she could take back the last few minutes. She got up from the couch and ran outside, but Carmilla had already turned her car around and was barreling down the hill.

“Well, buttercup. You wanna talk about it?”

Laura burst into tears and fell onto her father’s shoulder. He smelled like sunscreen - he always smelled like sunscreen, always slathered it on even when it was raining all day. His protectiveness of her used to feel comforting, just like that coconut scent. The worry, the bear spray, the twice-a-day check-ins, they were a way for her to always feel safe. But as she grew older, it became overbearing quickly. It became standards she never felt she could meet. The moment he said he was nearby, her mind went into hyper-drive over every small thing he could disapprove of.

She was shaking. How long had she been shaking? Had she started shaking when he called her? God, this wasn’t healthy. But she didn’t have time to sort out her daddy issues, right now she needed to call Carmilla. Apologize, beg, whatever she had to do. The overbearing father war was one she’d been fighting for years, and she could stand to let another battle go bloody. But right now all she needed was to know Carmilla was okay.

“Dad… I’m so sorry, but I’ve got to go. I know where she probably is. Just, make yourself at home.”

Her father nodded to her solemnly. “Of course, buttercup. Go get her.”

She gathered her keys, her phone, her wallet. Inside of her wallet there was a tiny folded piece of paper hidden between bills. It was the receipt from when she’d bought Carmilla coffee, that night after Carmilla had a nightmare and she’d wanted to kiss her so badly. It was long before their actual kiss, but it might’ve been the exact moment she fully accepted how into Carmilla she was. That morning she’d woken up early and just laid there, tangled in Carmilla’s arm, and while Carmilla was still asleep, she’d kissed her cheek. She remembered thinking, _if I’m here for a minute more, I’m going to wake her up and kiss her for real_. So she ended up at the coffee shop.

She passed that coffee shop and looked inside, knowing Carmilla wasn’t there, but somehow thinking she would be at the same time. Her car ended up dreadfully parked outside of the apartment but she didn’t care. Carmilla’s apartment building was ancient compared to her own. It always seemed to have more charm, but they both knew it couldn’t fit both of them. It was perfect for one. Just one.

After a few minutes of knocking, Laura was half-convinced that Carmilla wasn’t even there.

“Hey,” Carmilla said with a raw throat and she swung open the door. She stepped back, letting Laura come in.

“Hi. Hey. Baby,” and she broke, her words became swallowed sobs and she flung herself into Carmilla’s arms. Of course she’d be overdramatic again. She never would be in this mess if she wasn’t-

“Shh. Shh, Laura, Laura, Laura. It’s okay. Breathe babe! It’s not the end of the world.”

And Carmilla was nearly laughing, her hands rubbing Laura’s shoulders, brushing tears from her cheeks. Kissing her, kissing her again and again.

“I love you, Carmilla. I love you so much.”

“I know, babe. I love you too.”

They made their way over to Carmilla’s couch. It was seemingly the only thing left in the apartment – the kitchen cabinets were flung open to reveal barren insides, there was nothing but the occasional nail on the wall. Laura thought Carmilla had kept more here. A back-up plan of sorts, ready to flee back if she had to.

“My lease is up in two days,” she said in a low voice, her eyes scanning where Laura’s had been. “The couch is staying because the new tenants paid me for it.”

“Oh.”

Carmilla sighed, taking both of Laura’s hands in hers. “Babe. Look at me. There’s no way you blew up like that just over me meeting with your curator. What’s going on?”

Laura ran her fingertips along the edges of Carmilla’s palms. “You know I love my dad to pieces, I do, but…”

“He pushes your buttons.”

“Yeah. And I just wanted everything to be perfect, and then the blood, and then ‘Dr. S’ which I know shouldn’t be a huge deal, but it just got to me. I’ve never been able to connect with her. I’m just jealous,” Laura sighed.

“I should have told you sooner that I’ve been meeting with her. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I guess part of the reason it came out tonight was that… well, seeing you with your dad, it was sweet, you know? You have a complicated relationship and I get that. But you’re still family. And I don’t have that. I haven’t had it for a while. Dr. S is really trying to be a mentor to me. It’s the closest thing I can get right now.”

“I’m your family, sweetheart.”

Carmilla kissed her forehead gently. “You are, of course you are. But I meant a different kind of family. The kind that gives you guidance and advice, wise aunts and grandmothers, that sort of thing. Laura, I chose you to be a part of my family. And Dr. S, well, she kind of chose me. And it means so much to have someone helping me with career stuff, you know? I had to figure it all out on my own. Dr. S really knows the business and she can help me figure things out, how to advance and all that.”

“I understand. I really do. I’m so sorry I blew up over this.”

“I forgive you,” she paused. “Oh god, your dad must hate me now.”

“He doesn’t hate you. If anything, I’m the one he’s probably disappointed in. Do you still have a bed here? Because I don’t feel like going home yet,” Laura lulled her head back against the couch.

“I sold the bed, but this couch is actually a sleeper.”

Laura stuck out her tongue. “I can’t believe you kept this secret from me for so long.”

They unfolded the couch bed together. It still had a sheet on it, and Carmilla found an old blanket she’d forgotten about in the top of her hall closet. The couch’s cushions made for good enough pillows. Carmilla leaned back and Laura wrapped herself around her tightly, her head resting on Carmilla’s chest. Of course they ended up talking about work – the blood pops in Carmilla’s car, the new otter training Laura was working on. For a moment it felt just like when they first sat on this couch with a Fennec Fox underfoot, both nervous and scared, no idea of just how much they’d grow together. In the middle of a sentence about the pattern of a tiger’s stripes, Laura captured Carmilla’s lips with her own and wrapped her arms tightly around her neck.

“Damn babe, I had no idea you were so turned on by tigers.”

“I mean, obviously, why else would I have started dating you?” she laughed, nibbling at Carmilla’s bottom lip. “But seriously. You’re amazing. And I’m so glad I’m living with you, and I really am happy that you’ve got a mentor relationship going with Dr. S.”

“You’re cute when you grovel.”

“Hush!”

“Anyways,” Carmilla giggled, pulling Laura on top of her and kissing the tip of her nose. “Thank you, sweetheart. I’m really glad I’m living with you, too. Just please never bring the Agouti home, I still have nightmares about its hands.”

“Done.”

They snuggled close and Carmilla fell asleep in an instant, her body heavy and warm underneath Laura. Laura stayed on top of her for a moment. She had a scratch beneath her eye from a training mishap with S.J. a few days ago. Her lips were slightly parted, her teeth showing just enough, almost looking like she had fangs. And her eyeliner was only slightly smudged – she used the kind that could go through a nuclear war without rubbing off. Laura knew this was the face she always wanted to wake up to.

 


	21. Bloody Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a triumphant return in celebration of season 2! Laura and Perry set up a couple's dinner and the zoo has a peacock round-up.

"Good morning, zoobies!" chirped Lola Perry over the radio. Carmilla always rolled her eyes at this nickname. Perry swore up and down that it was a combination of "zoo" and "baby" but everyone knew what it sounded like.

Laura poked Carmilla's side. "Hush."

"Today we have no chance of rain and mild temperatures all day. Our manager of the day is the ever-capable Mr. Danny Lawrence - who has a birthday coming up soon!"

"Danny is going to strangle her for saying that..." Carmilla muttered. Her and Laura were walking to the Animal Health Center to pick up the Agouti from quarantine. She had a light routine that morning and wanted to tag along.

Perry continued on the radio, "Now everyone, don't forget that today is the Peafowl Round Up! Because of the recent outbreak of avian influenza, zoos like ours must capture our free-ranging friends and keep them safely in their own exhibits. Let's just hope they don't go in with the tigers! The bird department has been so generous as to leave nets at each building so that we may all help collect our proud pea-buddies. There are 6 peacocks and 15 peahens around the zoo - so ladies first! ...Have a wonderful day, everyone."

"Are they really keeping all those peacocks? I have no idea where they could fit them," Laura said, slightly out of breath as they climbed the Animal Health Center stairs.

Carmilla held the door open for Laura. "We do have plenty of room in the cheetah yard. Oh come on, don't give me that look! Anyways, I do think there's room in the barn animal department, some old holding area they're netting over."

"Hey there!" Dr. LaFontaine said as they walked through the quarantine hallway, holding a large crate. "Just in time. Are you both still joining me and Perry for dinner tonight?"

"You betcha!" Laura grinned. "You still want to meet at the cabin at 5?"

"Sounds good to me. Hey, the Agouti didn't finish his diet this morning - do you want me to bag it up for you?"

"That would be great."

"Babe, what are we bringing to dinner with the ginger twins again?" Carmilla whispered hurriedly.

"I'm making cookies and you're on drink duty. Don't worry, I stopped by the liquor store last night."

"You're a lifesaver."

"Here we are! One Agouti diet, to-go," LaFontaine handed over a ziplock back and brushed their hair back. "Man, I'm jealous that you all get to do the peacock round up. I can't touch them since I'm on quarantine duty today. Perry promised she'd catch one for me, though."

"Perry's going to catch you a peacock?" Carmilla's eyebrow shot up.

"She's got a net and everything! I mean, she does think the whole thing's a bit barbaric, what with the nets and all. But it still looks like fun. I'm going to get a shot of her holding it by the ankles like a pheasant hunter."

"Well that is a picture I look forward to seeing."

"Yeah, it'll go on the specimen fridge right next to the shot of you cuddling the crowned crane," Dr. Fontaine laughed as they walked Laura and Carmilla out.

"Next to  _what?_ "

"Doctor, if I don't make it to dinner tonight, please know I've probably been used as big cat enrichment," Laura laughed, grabbing Carmilla's hand.

They walked down the pathway together and Carmilla clucked her tongue playfully. "I don't see why you had to share that."

"It's the cutest picture I have of you, hush."

Once they got to the back of the C&F building, Carmilla spotted the large black net leaned next to the door. She picked it up and spun it in her hand. "Don't you guys get a lot of the lady peacocks over here in the woods?"

"Peahen, dear. And we do. Oh no, am I going to be taking a pheasant hunter picture of you?"

"More like a pheasant plucker."

"Alright, huntress. You take a look around while I get him inside."

Carmilla began stalking through the wooded area around the back of C&F. She knew she had seen lady peacocks -peahens, whatever - back here before. As she backtracked her path and headed towards the door, she spotted one in the grass. It was pecking away at the ground and of course none the wiser to her as she slinked forward, net over her shoulder. A few careful steps forward...almost there...

"Hi-yah!" Carmilla screamed, slamming the net towards the ground. The peahen bolted out from under the net just in time and began speeding off. 

"Hey look! Peacock!" she heard a deep voice, then a screeching sound. She walked over to see Kirsch holding the peahen against his chest with just one arm as the thing flailed and screeched.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Kirsch's eyes turned to saucers as he looked down at the bird. "Wait, we are supposed to catch the girls too, right?"

"Of course we are! I just don't get how I go up to the thing with a net and don't get it, but somehow you just pluck it right off the ground."

He shrugged. "It wasn't even going that fast. Danny caught four dude peacocks this morning. It was so cool - I was driving the golf cart with her, right? And she had this big net and was hanging off the side and she just scooped them up like it was nothing. She's a badass."

Carmilla couldn't help but smile. "Badass, huh?"

"Uh, I mean, y'know - for a curator."

Laura opened the door, then looked between Kirsch and Carmilla. "...do I want to know what I missed?"

"Kirsch here went peacock hunting with Mr. Danny this morning."

"We have to catch them! Because of the aviary flu thing. Do they even make flu medicine for birds? I guess they might drink tea if you put it in a bowl..." His eyes wandered to the sky and he looked deep in thought for a moment. "Anyways, gotta get this little lady peacock-"

"Peahen! How hard is it to remember that there's a female name for these birds!"

"...I will take the peahen up to birds. And write peahen on the capture form. I promise. Bye, guys," Kirsch said in a rush as he turned and walked down the path.

After his departure, Carmilla gave Laura a quick kiss and headed to the Big Cat building. Her day flew by quickly, but unfortunately a storm was rolling in and the rain was beating down by the time she could leave the building. She rushed towards the First Aid Cabin, getting soaked in the process. When she opened the door she saw Laura sitting on the couch.

"Oh sweetie! I thought you had an umbrella!"

"My umbrella was obviously at another location during this lovely rainfall. I nearly used a trashbag, but I would like to preserve the single shred of dignity I still have here."

She collapsed onto the couch with Laura, who tucked her head against Carmilla's shoulder. Their hands wound together.

"Perry is still MIA, she must've had something to attend to. You know she gets concerned about flooding during these storms."

"So we have the cabin," Carmilla paused, slipping her free hand onto Laura's hip. "All to ourselves?"

"Carmilla we," a deep kiss muffled Laura for a moment, "can't just make out on the first aid couch!" 

Another nibble along her neck, and Laura's resolve was mostly gone. Their kiss deepened and Carmilla pulled them closer, their bodies side by side and legs tangled. The storm was getting worse outside - thunder roaring loudly as lightning flashed through the cabin. They barely managed to pull themselves apart and catch their breath.

"I am now a bit more excited for whatever happens after dinner tonight," Laura gave Carmilla another light peck.

"It seems like it'll be a perfect evening."

A huge clap of thunder nearly shook the cabin as the door flung open. There stood Lola Perry, soaking wet, with her arms covered in blood up to the elbow. She looked dazed, holding her arms out from her body and shaking slightly.

"Perry! Perry oh my god what happened?!" Laura screamed as she rushed over to Perry.

Carmilla shot over to the first aid center and grabbed gauze pads, then hurriedly tried to mop off the blood. Once the blood was mostly gone she could see its source - two short gashes above Perry's wrist, and quite a few small scratches all the way up to her elbow. Laura had gone to phone Dr. LaFontaine, who she shouted was on their way down.

"Perry, seriously, what's going on?" Carmilla asked with a soft voice. Perry had done nothing but wobble her chin and try to mumble. Her arms were mostly bandaged now - the two larger cuts so large that they had to use gauze pads with medical tape. The rest of her skin had about eight neon-colored kid's band-aids dotted along them.

The sound of the golf cart zooming up was the only warning they had before Dr. LaFontaine burst through the door and rushed to Perry's side on the couch. "Sweetheart, talk to me. Are you okay? Has the bleeding stopped?"

"Peacock!" shouted Perry, glaring at LaFontaine.

Carmilla shared a befuddled expression with Laura, and tried to stifle her laughter at the ridiculous outburst.

"Perr Bear, what do you mean?"

"Peacocks! Have! Spurs!" Perry was screaming now at a nearly blood-curdling level, holding up her mummy-wrapped arms. "Caught one in a net. Go to hold it, by the ankle. Just to... try. And then - _spurs!_ Big, sharp, _daggers_ on the back of its feet!"

"Oh god. I thought they clipped the spurs! I'm so sorry!"

Perry burst into tears and crumpled into LaFontaine's arms, who soothed her gently. "Listen guys, I'm gonna take her to the doctor. We'll reschedule for another time."

"Of course. You both take care," Laura responded quietly, pulling at Carmilla's hand and slipping out the door. They booked it towards the parking lot and clambered into Carmilla's car - both now completely soaked.

"Wait, didn't  _you_ have an umbrella?" asked Carmilla, revving the engine.

"I set it under the couch - no way I was reaching for it through that mess."

"I do feel bad for Perry. She doesn't even deal with the animals, I can't believe she tried to catch a peacock."

Laura shook her head. "I swear, I feel like peafowl need their own horror film at this point."

"They really do. I sure hope she's okay."

"I'm sure she'll be fine after she gets checked out. I just hope she never has to see a bird again..." Laura trailed off, then put her hand on Carmilla's thigh. "Those two are a sweet couple, though. You should have heard LaF on the phone when I told them Perry was hurt, they care so much about her. Whenever we do get to reschedule for dinner, we're going to have a cute-off or something."

"I care so much about you too, Laura." Carmilla pulled up to a red light then leaned over and captured Laura's lips in a lingering kiss. "Now we get to skip right to the fun part of the evening."

 


	22. A Keepers' Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has gathered at LaFontaine and Perry's house for Thanksgiving. Time for food, friends(?), and a special zookeeper tradition.

Laura couldn't wait for Thanksgiving at Perry's place that night - and at the moment, it seemed Carmilla was almost excited as well. They were driving through a light snow and Carmilla was singing along to the radio, which was particularly odd considering it was Christmas music.

"Here I was thinking you were a complete Grinch," Laura laughed, clutching her turkey cookies closer as they went around a hard turn. She'd spent a couple hours the previous night making sure every piece of candy corn was placed perfectly on the turkeys' tails and she refused to have any of them messed up.

"Okay, 'All I Want for Christmas is You' is a timeless classic."

"I'm just having fun seeing you try to hit the high notes!" Laura wanted to hold Carmilla's hand at the moment, but the winding road made that difficult. "Hey, how is Blindy doing by the way?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "I don't know if your nickname for our blind cheetah is better or worse than his actual name. Who names a cheetah Spot? Anyways, he seems better today, he ate about half his diet. They're actually looking at getting a new cheetah even sooner than I thought, maybe before New Year's. There's some sanctuary that had a pet cheetah turned in and they don't have enough space to keep it long term."

"So if Blindy makes it to next year, where do you put the new cheetah?"

"We'd just leave it at Dangerous Holding up at quarantine until we could move it down," Carmilla turned into the driveway. "What the hell? I thought you said this would be small."

There were six cars scattered around Perry's drive, which now seemed more like a parking lot. Laura recognized LaF's jeep and Perry's white hybrid, but everything else was a mystery.

"I know Perry extended the invite to curators, do you think Danny's here?"

"If she is she drove someone else's car, I don't see her truck here."

As they got closer to the house, Laura stopped in front of a yellow sports car. "Woah, this is Kirsch's car! Maybe they rode together."

"If you think those two could spend more than 10 minutes in a car together these days, you're being ridiculous," Carmilla scoffed.

hey walked up to the door, but right before they knocked, Carmilla grabbed Laura and kissed her. They'd both worked that day and the drive was the first time they'd seen each other. Laura didn't really mean to but she got swept away and Carmilla was pressing her against a beam, both of their arms were wound around each other-

"Hey! No mating rituals in the house, there are little ones here!" yelled LaFontaine as they swung open the door.

"I would hardly count twenty-one years old as little," said a British voice that Laura didn't recognize.

“We aren’t even in the house,” quipped Carmilla as she breezed her way inside and past the crowd. Laura blushed and followed her quickly.

LaFontaine was standing with a younger guy who had a beard, which Laura assumed must be the British one. Everyone else was in the dining room with Perry. Danny and Kirsch were standing as far apart as possible - Danny with a girl who had long curly hair, and Kirsch next to the new keeper from C&F.

“Welcome to our lovely home,” LaFontaine said as they swept their hand across the large living room behind them. “And of course, Happy Thanksgiving.”

Perry appeared from behind them, wearing a frilly pink apron. “Oh goody! Now that everyone is here, let’s do introductions. Laura, Carmilla, this is -”

“You both know me. This is Mel. She’s from my Rugby Club,” said Danny with her arms folded tightly. Mel stayed silent and just waved.

“And this is Theo. He’s new over in Small Mammals with us. Just started last week. Already doing a great job though!” Kirsch and Theo fist-bumped.

“Okay, everyone this is J.P. We know each other from college - he was a super-smart child prodigy type. Anyways, he just moved into town,” LaFontaine said, thumping the wiry guy on the back. “Man, we only talked through Skype for so long, sometimes it’s like you’ve finally come back to life after being trapped in a computer.”

“Thank you, LaFontaine. I’m really glad to be here,” J.P. smiled sheepishly.

“Well… alright then. Laura, you can bring your cookies in the kitchen, and we can get everything set up,” Perry said.

Laura followed Perry into the kitchen. Carmilla sauntered over to Danny and started chatting immediately. Laura and Perry set out all the desserts in the kitchen, and lined up the main dishes on a buffet table in the dining room. Perry and LaF had a modest home - it had white stucco walls and was outside of the city on a small plot of land. Laura knew they had lots of rescued pets from their many years at the zoo, and saw a black cat wander into the kitchen as they carried out the turkey.

“No worries, little Donna here won’t go for the big bird. She only eats fish flavored food,” Perry assured her.

Laura looked over to Carmilla, who was set up in front of the liquor cabinet, mixing drinks for everyone. She was laughing and shaking the mixer happily. Sometimes Laura couldn’t believe this sullen cat keeper could be so cheery.

They made their way to the table after everyone got drinks. LaFontaine made a toast to Thanksgiving, then gave a pointed look at Perry. “Alright, everyone. Before we begin, there is a special tradition we do when we host keepers for thanksgiving.”

“There is no we about it.”

“Perry, this is your cue to go fix something in the kitchen,” LaF winked. “So, I’d like us all to go around the table and say what we’re thankful for… then say the grossest thing that happened to you this year.”

Laura burst out laughing and Carmilla gave a small chuckle. Perry was storming out of the room with her arms up, ranting about how anyone could talk about that before eating.

“Well,” Danny began. “This year I am thankful for the Summer Society Rugby Club making it to our finals. Oh my god - my grossest thing was definitely when I was hosing the rockwork in the outdoor tiger exhibit and found a dead bird. The hose pressure was so high that the thing split into pieces and flew everywhere!”

“Oh, god,” said Mel. “Well, this year I am also thankful for the Rugby Club making it to finals. Though I’m also thankful for getting a new paintball gun. And since I’m not a zookeeper, I guess my grossest thing would be discovering I left a tuna sandwich in my gym bag for a week.”

Laura was watching Mel intensely. She was still trying to figure out if Danny had brought her as an actual date or not. Carmilla caught her eye and smirked.

“That’s actually pretty disgusting, good going.” Theo nodded. Laura had only worked with him for a couple days, but he seemed pretty confident. He was a little cocky - but that only made Kirsch like him more. “I’m definitely thankful for this wonderful new job. I think the grossest thing was at my internship - I worked with primates. Mostly small monkeys and lemurs, but we had a baboon who was trained to present her um, hindquarters. She did that while I was watching a training...then farted in my face.”

“Bro, not cool, man! This year I’m thankful that our darn mongooses finally figured out how to shift into their holding. The grossest thing that happened to me was definitely finding Agouti diarrhea with my bare hand,” Kirsch shuddered, then looked towards LaFontaine.

“I am so thankful that I can have all of you, of course. But I’m also just so thankful for my lovely wife who refuses to participate in my lovely tradition!”

“This is a disgusting tradition. Just… BE. NORMAL!” Perry yelled back from the kitchen, mostly in jest.

“And the grossest thing that happened to me this year was draining an abscess on a crowned pigeon. It looked like it was full of banana baby food.”

“I don’t think there’s any way I will get that bloody image out of my head,” laughed J.P. His accent seemed to show itself then fade away on occasion. “This year I am thankful for a wonderful new job - I am the new tech director at your local library here. And the grossest thing that happened to me I guess was finding a mummified lizard squished between the pages of a library book.”

Laura wrinkled her nose. “Well that certainly rivals how gross ours are. This year, I’m really thankful for… getting to know new people. And the most disgusting thing that happened to me was when the fruit bat pooped into my mouth during its physical.”

“I remember that!” LaFontaine exclaimed. “The look on your face was priceless.”

There was a lull, and all eyes turned towards Carmilla.

“Oh, right. The thing I’m most thankful for this year” Carmilla paused, and reached for Laura’s hand, holding it tight. “Is having this wonderful bunny-hugger come into my life.”

Carmilla leaned over and pecked Laura on the lips, eliciting an aww from LaFontaine. Laura found herself blushing from head to toe - though she made a mental note to bug Carmilla later about calling her a bunny-hugger again.

“And not to disappoint - the grossest thing that happened to me this year was when a rat showed up in the big cat building and I had to curb-stomp it into the ground. The brains flew everywhere and I got them all over my hand when I reached for my radio later.”

Laura’s blushing turned quickly into a gag reflex. After they’d finished laughing and gotten their stomachs back to normal, Perry was invited back into the room.

“This year I am thankful that I heard none of the gross storytime,” she muttered. “But I am also thankful for my favorite doctor.”

“I love you too, Perr-Bear.”

The dinner that Perry had made was absolutely delicious. Carmilla had eaten nearly every dark part of the turkey available while Laura was sticking mostly to the amazing mashed potatoes and casseroles. As the meal was winding down, the conversation inevitably turned to work.

“Perry, you always get all the dirt first - do you know what’s up with this ominous All-Staff Meeting we’re having next week?” Laura asked as she dug into an apple tart.

“Well, I don’t know for certain. But I will say there are certain unsubstantiated rumors that the zoo may be going private…”

“Wait, what?” Danny nearly shouted.

“I don’t know how it’s a surprise at this point,” LaFontaine responded. “The city’s been cutting our budget for years. Laura, you know that old guy who came on our tour last week?”

“Sure, Von Trapp?”

“Vordenberg. He’s the hopeful for our new board president if we do go private.”

“Hold on,” Danny interjected. “I thought the new hopeful was that woman I saw in the curator’s office last week. Madeline?”

“Mattie. I swear to god, you all need lessons on remembering names. So that was Mattie Belmonde - she’s the runner up or something. Vordenberg is from old money but Mattie owns that mining company, the Corvay corporation.”

Laura sighed. “I care a lot more about what policies they believe in and what their visions are rather than how much money they have. Come on.”

“We both do,” assured Perry. “But you know the zoo president just wants us to be plenty funded if we do break off from the city.”

“Yeah, remember when we they had a budget shortfall and we had to use cheapo bleach for all our disinfectant instead of that fancy cleaner?” Kirsch said through a huge mouthful of food - something he’d had the entire night. “That stuff stained everything and ate through all my shirt sleeves! Though my guns were plenty thankful.”

Danny rolled her eyes so hard that Laura was surprised no one else caught it.

Carmilla shrugged and leaned back in her chair. “As long as our benefits don’t change, I don’t really give a shit whether we’re city-owned or private.”

“Benefits should stay the same, though I’m sure they’ll talk about that in the All-Staff. We’ve probably both said too much,” Perry said as she lightly swatted LaF’s shoulder. “Would anyone care to join me in the living room for some coffee?”

As everyone cleared the dining room, Laura grabbed Carmilla’s hand and led her over to the entryway. She gave her a light kiss once they were out of sight and nuzzled herself against Carmilla’s forehead. “Hey. You know, right?”

“Know what, creampuff?” Carmilla was practically purring. Laura loved that sound.

They kissed again and Laura looked up at Carmilla’s eyes. They were so warm. Changes at the zoo were always nerve-wracking, but having Carmilla with her now made everything feel more secure. They kissed once more and Laura whispered, “I’m thankful for you, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been forever since my last update. I've 1. had major writer's block for this piece and 2. been super busy with my IRL zookeeping.
> 
> Fun fact: I have actually curb-stomped a rat before. Multiple times. Rat infestations are NOT fun.


	23. All I Want for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Day - two years into the future. A lot has changed for Laura and Carmilla, but the important things have stayed the same.

 

_ 2 Years Later _

 

Sometimes when Laura woke up snuggled next to Carmilla in a king sized bed in the beautiful house they shared, she couldn’t believe how lucky she was. 

 

This was not one of those mornings. 

 

Because Laura had awoken to the sound of yet another object being knocked off the godforsaken kitchen counter by the completely neurotic cat Carmilla had somehow convinced her to adopt. For 6 months Laura dug her heels into the ground and refused to bring an animal home. Sure, it was cute when they took care of Betty the fox or S.J. the baby serval but she didn’t want that full-time. Laura was in the very small minority of zookeepers without pets at home and she just didn’t want to come home after a day of caring for small mammals and care for yet another small mammal. 

 

“I swear to god if that cat broke my Tardis mug, I’m divorcing you.”

 

Carmilla groaned and rolled over, snuggling into Laura’s back as Laura playfully tried to pull away. “Cupcake, how many times do I have to tell you - we have to actually get married before that happens.”

 

“Well then I will un-engage you if Inanna has left even a scratch on my coffee cup.”

 

“We will lose our deposit on that ridiculously expensive castle,” Carmilla whispered, nipping at her shoulder. “And you know you can’t wait to wear that poofy dress.”

 

“I still can’t believe you saw it. We’ll be cursed forever because of my dad’s inability to figure out group chat,” she laughed.

 

“Speaking of group chat, you need to mute your C&F one before I lose my mind. It’s dinging again.”

 

“They’re just being festive.” Laura slipped out of bed and stretched, then smacked the alarm on her phone before it had a chance to blare. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

 

Working on Christmas Day was a zookeeper right-of-passage. Animals don’t take holidays. Laura could still remember the first time she had to break it to her dad that she’d be working both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. “But the zoo is closed!” he’d said on the phone, flabbergasted. “The animals still have to eat, dad. I won’t be there all day, it’s fine.” She tried to reason with him, but he was so sad at the loss of their waking-up-to-catch-Santa-at-five-in-the-morning tradition. 

Laura and Carmilla were senior enough to get out of working on Christmas, but the drama of the past two years had left a jumbled mess throughout departments and it was up to them to pick up the slack. Laura couldn’t believe how much had changed since her first Christmas at the zoo.

 

Vordenberg, the ultra-rich donor, and Mattie Belmonde, the head of the Corvay mining corporation, had fought over the zoo for months. The organization had been short on money and was deep in debt. Vordenberg was ready to prop up the zoo with lavish donations but Mattie wanted to privatize. Vordenberg seemed to sweet-talk everyone, but never got along too well with Carmilla, who knew something was up about him. Carmilla eventually discovered that Vordenberg ran a shady trophy hunting business in South Africa and was importing illegal animal parts to sell on the black market. Vordenberg had Carmilla’s head on the chopping block, trying to fire her before she told the board, but Laura burst in with a handful of pictures and documents just in time. Vordenberg ended up arrested for wildlife trafficking and Mattie got her wish. 

 

Laura and Carmilla ended up suspended for a week for both of their outbursts at the board meeting. J.P., the new vet-tech wunderkind, ended up Skyping them each day to keep them updated. Mattie turned out to be the daughter of the zoo’s CEO and the scandal meant the zoo got worse before it got better. Vordenberg’s arrest was kept under wraps in order to catch more of his poaching network, so no one else knew they’d done the right thing. Laura and Carmilla were so ostracized they both hid out in Dr. Speilsdorf’s office as much as they could - seemingly cut off from the rest of the world.

 

It took nearly a year for everything to start to get back to normal. The scandal had died down once Vordenberg’s true nature was revealed and visitors were returning to the zoo in huge numbers by the summer. Laura and Carmilla had to deal with their own department’s scandals when it was revealed at the zoo’s annual Fourth of July barbecue both that Danny and Kirsch had been dating and that they’d broken up. It can be hard to come back to normal after you’ve seen your curator and department throw beer pitchers and hot dogs at each other. 

 

That fall, Carmilla proposed to Laura. Carmilla persuaded LaFontaine to let her transport Laura’s newest animal, a baby otter, down to the C&F building. Laura couldn’t have been more confused when Carmilla showed up at the door with two crates. The first crate contained the baby otter, a tiny bundle of squeaks who was let into his brand new holding. The second crate contained a shadowbox with mementos of their relationship - the mug sleeve from when Laura brought her coffee the first time she slept over, the tag from the steak Laura had brought for Sheridan’s last meal, a page from the Emergency Preparedness Binder from when they’d stayed for the snowstorm, and even a copy of the picture of Carmilla holding the escaped crane. The frame of the shadowbox read - “My love for you can never be kept in a cage.” Laura had turned around with tears in her eyes to see Carmilla on one knee and holding a velvet ring box. She was so busy kissing Carmilla and crying and putting the ring on that she almost forgot to say yes.

 

In three weeks they were having a small wedding at a 1600’s style, beautifully restored castle (that Carmilla insisted on) with their friends, family, and possibly a few animals in attendance. Though Laura had rejected the idea of Inanna the cat being a ring bearer. 

 

She finally extracted herself from the shower and threw on her work clothes. When she walked into the living room, Carmilla was dressed and ready on the couch, holding Laura’s quite intact Tardis mug.

 

“See, darling? Thank god, I really didn’t want to return my tux.”

 

They got to work only a little late, after Laura insisted on driving through the christmas light archways the zoo accidentally left turned on. The timing didn’t exactly matter though - holiday work was always quick and basic, just bare bones. They’d pull out spare food dishes from the attic so they could give morning and afternoon diets all at once. Quick training sessions were done in between diet prep and cleaning. 

 

Laura was chopping vegetables at lightning speed when the phone in C&F rang. She cradled the cordless receiver on her shoulder as she continued measuring the carrots.

 

“Hey LaF, what’s up?”

 

“So, bad news. Perry’s sick as a dog and we can’t host Christmas dinner after all,” LaF paused as a dish clattered somewhere behind them. “Perry, you don’t have to clean those!”

 

“For the last time, I’m not THAT sick!” rang out an echoing voice. “I am perfectly… just… totally… hold on, I can’t find the soap.”

 

“Perry, you are holding the soap. The fever is talking and you need to listen. And sit,” LaF huffed.

 

“Well, tell Perry to feel better. And take care of herself. It sucks though, I know some of the other keepers didn’t have anywhere else to go.” 

 

Being away from family was something many zookeepers had to deal with - moving for a job was incredibly common and their salaries were a bit too low to afford many trips home. Laura felt a small lump in her throat - she remembered how Perry and LaF had welcomed her to a Christmas dinner her first year here. They’d had it at the zoo that time, so it wasn’t as homey as their traditional Thanksgivings, but it was the only thing that kept Laura in the Christmas spirit after being away from her dad. She felt terrible for all the keepers who wouldn’t get to have that today.

 

LaFontaine seemed to read her mind. “I mean, there could always be  _ somewhere _ for them to go.”

“LaF. Carmilla would never go for that. Besides, half the zoo is still terrified of her.” Laura was of course referring to the original fear that people had for the surly big cat keeper - most of the scandal wariness had worn off.

 

“All the more reason for them to get to know her better. You’ve turned her into quite the softie, anyways.”

 

“Never let her hear you say that.”

 

Laura had moved on to peeling the hard-boiled eggs. She’d tried to convince Dr. Speilsdorf that leaving the shell on was just a form of enrichment but she didn’t go for it. 

 

“Well, you’ll never know until you ask. Alright, I’ve got to fashion a barf-bag and get Perry home. I swear, when she’s this sick, it’s like she’s possessed.”

 

“I am an all-powerful goddess! And I demand my Gatorade this instant!” screamed Perry in the background.

 

Laura chuckled and hung up the phone. Once she’d gotten the eggshell off her hands, she grabbed her cell and called Carmilla. 

 

“Done already? Kirsch must have really stepped up his game today.”

 

“Unfortunately he’s still moping so, no. I called because I have a proposition for you,” Laura took a breath and before Carmilla could get a word in she rambled on about Perry’s sickness, the sad puppy-dog eyes of forlorn lonely keepers, and how there had to be a store open somewhere that they could get a ham.

 

Carmilla let out a sigh. “You really want to do this, eh Creampuff?”

 

“We would be like, the heroes of the zoo!”

 

“I’m not sure how I feel about you getting heroic notions of me…”

 

“Oh, come on!” Laura had the phone on speaker as she finished washing dishes and it almost slipped into the water. She grabbed it at the last second and placed it on top of the fridge. “It’ll be fun! Please, Carmilla?”

 

“Ugh, fine. Wait, why are you yelling?”

 

“I’ll explain later. Was that a yes?”

 

“Sure. Whatever. We can watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ with the baby keepers and make gingerbread animals and eat ham, so long as I get you all to myself by ten.”

 

“You’re the best!”

 

By the time they left work, Laura had texted all the contacts LaF sent and told them about the venue change. Carmilla drove to the store to pick up the ham and anything else that hadn’t been picked clean off the shelves. Thankfully Laura’s festive nature meant there was little decorating to be done. She was a little thankful that her dad had to miss Christmas this year - he was in Paris with the woman he finally admitted to be his girlfriend, thank God. 

 

Carmilla got home and they started on dinner as keepers filed into the house. Danny helped with the cooking and Kirsch set up board games as far away from the kitchen as possible. J.P. set up a Skype feed with LaF and Perry. Soon there were over a dozen keepers from across all the departments, the newest ones showing up sheepishly and just happy for somewhere to go. 

 

They had a wonderful Christmas feast, played board games, and eventually piled into the den to watch a few very festive episodes of  _ Planet Earth _ . Carmilla and Laura were in the loveseat closest to the TV with the crowd sitting behind them.

 

“Thank you again for doing this, Carmilla.”

 

She shifted her glance away and sighed. “Well, I couldn’t enjoy Christmas knowing you’d be pouting the whole time.”

 

Laura smiled and reached into her pocket, pulling out a small wad of green leaves and holding it above them.

 

“I’m sorry, what is that?”

 

“Oh, come on. I have to pick mistletoe of the browse, it’s toxic!” Laura balked.

 

“Just what I wanted for Christmas, a toxic plant.”

 

“Carmilla.”

 

Laura stared her down and after a dramatic eyeroll, Carmilla grinned and leaned in for a kiss. A small chorus of cheesy “aww’s” rang out from the couch and the floor behind them.

 

And a few weeks later,  Laura said “I do” with her hands woven with Carmilla’s, kissing her with all her heart in a beautiful castle in front of a similar audience. During their first dance that night - to some song about love having its sacrifices - Carmilla gave her a silly grin.

 

“You know, Laura. From the moment we met, I knew you were a keeper.”

 

It was a rare pun from her surly wife - oh my god,  _ wife _ \- and Laura couldn’t help but laugh. “Well then, Carmilla... I sure am glad to be kept.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's a year or two late and a month or three off, but here we go. I finally finished Kept. It's been a wild ride, y'all. Thanks for sticking with it.


End file.
